


Heartbeat

by gothwoozi



Series: Heartbeat [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Affairs, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Convenience Store, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hook-Up, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Smut, Spanking, but soonhoon is the endgame, jicheol is a thing in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-07 13:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15219827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothwoozi/pseuds/gothwoozi
Summary: When Jihoon goes home to Busan to help his parents, he meets Soonyoung through a hook-up app. Yet, Jihoon doesn't know his one-night stand is a clerk in his parent's shop, nor does Soonyoung know about Jihoon's boyfriend, Seungcheol.or"I met you on Grindr, but apparently you work for my parents" AU





	1. I Wanted You To Know That I Am Ready To Go

**Author's Note:**

> My editor hates me because I make her read my porn. The title is inspired by Heartbeat by Childish Gambino, as will be the chapter titles. Please leave kudos and comments if you want to see more of this fic.

“ _Stop to_ Busan Station _arrives in_ 15 minutes,” a partially automated voice mixed with a real attendant announces to the train-riders. “Please get off in _15 minutes,_ if _Busan Station_ is your stop.” Then, the same message was repeated in English.

Jihoon stays alert, grabbing his luggage. He once made the mistake of sleeping through his stop—never again. When he woke up, he had traveled in an entire circle back to Seoul. His mother scolded him when he _finally_ showed up for dinner the next day.

When the train halts, Jihoon squeezes himself out along with the rest of the passengers. Busan was the last stop before the train cycled around to return up north, so most of the remaining travelers typically exited at this stop.

Just after Jihoon asks the help desk to call him a cab, his phone starts ringing along the tune “Bang, Bang, Bang.” Jihoon quickly answers it to avoid any more embarrassing attention from other inhabitants of the station.

“Hi, Mom,” Jihoon sighs. There is a slight rustling in the background.

“Hi, Jihoonie!” his mother greets excitedly. In the distance of the other line, Jihoon can hear his father cheerfully calling out, “Hi, Jihoon!”

“Did you make it off the train?” His mom checks, causing Jihoon to roll his eyes. A guy falls asleep on a train once, goes all the way back to Seoul, and his mother never lets him forget about it. What kind of world was this?

“Yes, Mom,” Jihoon responds tiredly. He just wants to get in a cab and check in to his hotel. “I’m about to head to the hotel right now.”

“I’m just checking, honey,” his mother hums sweetly. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay with us? Your old room is available.”

Jihoon really does not want to stay in his childhood home. He loves his parents and everything they’ve done for him, but he enjoys the personal space a private hotel room brings.

“I’m sure,” Jihoon assures her. “Besides, I don’t want to cram into a bed I haven’t slept in since high school.”

“It’s not like you’ve grown much since high school,” his mother points out, laughing like she was _so_ clever.

Jihoon lets out an obvious sarcastic laugh, then utters a quick “Goodbye, Mom.”

The taxi arrives shortly after Jihoon hangs up.

 

*********

 

The cab driver initially tries to make polite conversation but gives up when Jihoon only responds in quick and short answers, leaving Jihoon to silently watch as Busan’s nightlife whizzes past. His phone, previously left forgotten on the seat next to Jihoon, lights up the back of the cab with a notification. Jihoon knows it can’t be his mother because she would’ve gone to bed by now.

Maybe, it was Jihoon’s boyfriend, Seungcheol. They had a petty squabble right before Jihoon left, and it was Seungcheol’s style to beg forgiveness when he was all alone.

But, it isn’t Seungcheol, Jihoon realizes as his face instantly heats up. In fact, it was the farthest thing from.

About a week ago, a friend of Jihoon’s convinced him to download an app called Grindr. Jihoon wasn’t dumb. He knew perfectly well what Grindr’s purpose was. When he pointed out Seungcheol’s existence to his friend, they simply said, “All you two do is fight. Do you even have sex anymore?”

Jihoon was very disappointed to answer he and Seungcheol haven’t touched each other like that in a few months. At least, a little bit of hate-sex would be nice, yet it wasn’t happening.

So, Jihoon was brought to this point. It was wrong, he knew, but a voice in the back of his head kept whispering to him, “Who’s gonna know?”

What Seungcheol didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

Jihoon checks his home-screen which holds a notification that says “New Message From Soonyoung.”

He had never talked to this person before, but Jihoon must’ve come up on his radar because he was in the area. The app informs Jihoon he’s only 28, so they’re the same age. Before even reading the message, Jihoon immediately peeks at his profile picture. It’s taken in a room where mirrors line the wall, like a dance studio. “Soonyoung” has dark black hair, which he pushed back for his photo. He’s wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants accompanied by actual sweat. The feature that gets Jihoon’s heart throbbing is Soonyoung’s sharp eyes and the little bit of tongue peeking out smugly from under his teeth.

Jihoon could immediately tell this was the sort of guy who thought he was such hot shit. The sort of guy who thought nerds like Jihoon would melt if he even licked his lips. This should be fun.

Soonyoung’s message reads, _“I’ve never seen you around here before. I’m sure I would remember a face like that.”_

His own profile picture was taken at a Halloween party last year. He still had bubblegum pink hair and Seungcheol convinced him to wear white cat ears. The entire night Seungcheol’s friend, Mingyu, followed him around and took pictures because he was “so cute, Hyung!” Mingyu sent him a collection of photos, and Jihoon found one where he didn’t look like he was going to choke Mingyu. In fact, he had just finished telling the other a dirty joke (which made Mingyu blush like crazy), so he was wearing a very mischievous look on his face.

Jihoon thought the semi-cute photo might lure guys into thinking he was some innocent, adorable twink.

He rolls his eyes as he replies, “ _I bet you say that to every cute guy you want to fuck._ ”

The key was not allowing Soonyoung to think Jihoon was someone who would jump into bed with anyone who glanced at him. Morally, Jihoon is questionable, but that doesn’t mean he’s _easy_.

Immediately, Soonyoung responds, _“Would you have a problem with that?”_

It’s cheeky yet honest, so Jihoon doesn’t mind.

 _“No. But if you want me to be one of those cute boys, you’ll have to work for it. I don’t hand out the goods for free,”_ Jihoon messages, half-expecting the text to run Soonyoung off.

“ _You seem bossy. I like that. Do you want to meet for a drink? Trust me, I’ll make this night worthwhile.”_

Jihoon can already feel a strange sensation in the pit of his gut, so he gives Soonyoung the address to the bar of his hotel.

 

**********

 

After Jihoon checks into his room and refreshes upstairs, he patiently waits at the hotel bar. He doesn’t like beer, so he nurses a rum and Coke. Earlier, he changed out of the t-shirt and sweatpants he wore on the train-ride and exchanged it for a white button-up and tight jeans.

About 20 minutes later, a young man sits down next to him. Jihoon immediately recognizes those sharp eyes. He orders rum and Coke as well.

“I see you don’t have pink hair,” Soonyoung murmurs jestfully. “I was kind of hoping you might taste like bubblegum.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jihoon shoots back, then explains, “That’s an older photo. I hope you’re not disappointed by that.”

“Definitely not,” Soonyoung chuckles, then his eyes grow very dark and his voice drops a little lower. “You’re still cute and bite-sized, just like candy.”

“Who says I’m sweet, though?” Jihoon challenges, feeling his skin prickle as Soonyoung leans closer and closer to him. His cologne was intoxicating Jihoon way faster than the liquor was.

“You know what I think?” Soonyoung whispers directly into Jihoon’s ear. “I think you’re the type who doesn’t want anyone _to think_ you’re sweet. But, deep down, you want to be _a good boy_ for somebody else.”

In response, Jihoon scowls at him, but he can feel his cock slightly twitch in his jeans. He looks Soonyoung over and realizes the man has very nice thighs. They’re thighs he would like to ride.

“Is that what you think? Because you’re wrong,” Jihoon retorts, failing to make up for the way his breath hitched when he thought of how nice Soonyoung’s hands would look gripping his hips or his thighs.

“I know I’m right,” Soonyoung comments, and Jihoon could feel his hot breath against his neck. But, Jihoon’s mind goes wild when Soonyoung places his hand firmly on the other’s upper thigh. His pinkie keeps teasing towards the inseam, closer to Jihoon’s crotch. “You wanna know how I know? You look like a strawberry, and you won’t look me in the eye. If you did, they would instantly say _fuck me_.”

Then, Jihoon makes eye contact with Soonyoung, though he’s not sure what message they’re conveying. After he starts drinking, he loses control of some of his facial expressions. But, whatever they’re saying, Soonyoung seems very pleased by it.

“So, what do I have to do to get you to spend the night with me?” Soonyoung asks with glimmering eyes.

“It would be nice if you bought me a drink,” Jihoon teases. “Oh, and have a conversation with me that doesn’t involve you fucking my brains out. I know this is a hook-up, but come on… I’m more than a cute ass.”

Soonyoung laughs and complies, ordering Jihoon another drink. “So, do you have a hotel room here?” he starts, throwing up his hands in defense when Jihoon glares at him. “That wasn’t a sex question! I’m curious.”

“Yeah,” Jihoon sighs, dropping his menacing disposition. “I’m staying here a couple weeks to help my parents. I actually grew up in Busan.”

There was an unspoken restriction to not ask further about Jihoon’s parents. It would make this night between them awkward. Neither was going to spoil this arrangement because they were revved up and ready to go. Jihoon needed this so badly he thinks he might start trembling when Soonyoung _actually_ starts touching him.

“I see. I’m from Namyanju, but I came here for college. I just never left,” Soonyoung returns. “Where do you live now?”

“Seoul,” Jihoon replies, leaving out the crucial information of his _boyfriend_ who shared an apartment with him.

“It must be boring being back here,” Soonyoung remarks, yet Jihoon was feeling the furthest from. His 2 hours in Busan so far have been ten times more exciting than his life in Seoul. At home, his day went in a cycle: go to work, deal with frustrating patients, go home, fight with Seungcheol. It was a routine Jihoon hated.

“It’s not,” Jihoon confesses, looking at Soonyoung with half-lidded eyes. “You’re the most interesting thing to happen to me in _months._ ”

Soonyoung smirks, rubbing his hands along Jihoon’s thigh, causing a shiver to wrack its way through Jihoon’s body.

“What do you do for a living?” Soonyoung continues casually as if he wasn’t making Jihoon _melt_ underneath him.

“I’m a psychiatrist,” Jihoon breaths shakily, trying to compose himself. He didn’t think he would be reacting this way, but he supposes that’s what months without sex would do to a person. In fact, he was always sensitive to touch, even before he and Seungcheol started having problems. It was one of the things Seungcheol liked most about him. “What about you?”

“I have a degree in fine arts, and I teach at a dance studio. But, it hasn’t been enough lately, so I’ve had to pick up a part-time job on the side,” Soonyoung admits, shrugging and finishing his drink.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon tries to sympathize with uncertainty. What else could he say to a man he just met—a man he met to have sex with, nonetheless?

“Don’t worry about it,” Soonyoung reassures. He gestures to Jihoon’s empty glass. “Would you like another drink?”

“Actually, I think I’m ready to go upstairs,” Jihoon says breathily, mind reeling from all the things Soonyoung could _do_ to him.

Soonyoung grips Jihoon’s thigh in promise then pays out the bill, even though Jihoon protests that he doesn’t have to pay the entire bill.

“Think of this as a ‘thank you,’” Soonyoung states. “Because, you are a very attractive man, and I am very lucky to be spending the night with someone like you.”

  
Jihoon could not get to the elevator fast enough.

 

*********

 

Soonyoung kisses Jihoon the same way teenagers do like this was their only chance. In some ways, it was. In Jihoon’s hotel room, Soonyoung refuses to detach from Jihoon. Once they enter and toe their shoes off, he is kissing the other hungrily, while crowding Jihoon against the wall. Then, those soft yet passionate kisses find their way down Jihoon’s jaw and neck, and all Jihoon can do is thread his fingers in Soonyoung’s hair and hold on.

The hand Soonyoung has caressing Jihoon’s waist slides down to his lower back. Soonyoung’s hips move against his, and Jihoon groans aloud.

“I thought you weren’t sweet,” Soonyoung mumbles cheekily. “You taste pretty sweet to me.”

“Shut up and kiss me,” Jihoon retorts, sucking in a shaky breath when Soonyoung begins attacking his collarbone. If he had bruises tomorrow, he was going to strangle Soonyoung.

“Your wish is my command,” Soonyoung dutifully repeats.

Roughly, Soonyoung grips Jihoon’s hips and herds Jihoon away from the wall towards the bed. Not for the last time that night, Jihoon’s cock twitches in his pants. Usually, he did the bossing around, but it was hard to resist when Soonyoung was being rough like this.

The back of Jihoon’s knees hits the bed, and Soonyoung shoves him so he collapsed onto the bed with a loud thud. Soonyoung chooses to ignore the glare Jihoon directs at him.

“What do you want, Princess Jihoon?” Soonyoung questions smugly, leaning in between Jihoon’s thighs. “Do you want me, your loyal subject, to suck you off?”

Jihoon rolled his eyes, roughly grabbing a chunk of Soonyoung’s hair in warning. “Don’t call me Princess,” he growls, but it doesn’t throw Soonyoung off track.

“But you are a Princess,” Soonyoung murmurs lowly into his ear, continuing his work on Jihoon’s neck. “You’re bossy, yet pretty, but you’re still all bark and no bite.”

At that moment, Jihoon bites down on Soonyoung’s shoulder as hard as he can. He was never one to ignore a challenge.

For a second, Soonyoung pulls away, and Jihoon thinks he’s fucked up. Soonyoung was going to walk out of the hotel room and leave Jihoon horny on the bed. Maybe, he could find some good porn tonight, instead.

But it doesn’t happen. Rather, Soonyoung lets out a low laugh that continues until he’s doubled over in laughter.

“Oh my god!” he exclaims. “I can’t believe you actually fucking _bit me_. You are actually the cutest person in existence.”

Jihoon just sits there in shock, until Soonyoung composes himself. Then, he’s on his knees, settled in between Jihoon’s thighs.

“What do you what from me, Hoonie?” Soonyoung breathes, teasing his fingers along the inseam of Jihoon’s jeans.

“You know what I want,” Jihoon snaps, carding his fingers through Soonyoung’s hair. It’s a way more gentle action than the situation warrants.

“But I want to hear you say it,” Soonyoung pouts, mouthing along Jihoon’s length in his jeans. “I want to see the words come out of your mouth.”

Jihoon grimaces at Soonyoung in displeasure, but Soonyoung isn’t buying it. Instead, he slowly begins to pop Jihoon’s button, unzip his jeans, then pulls the material down his thighs and off his legs. Jihoon’s cock is almost exposed if it weren’t for his boxers.

“You have such cute thighs,” Soonyoung comments, sucking what Jihoon was sure would become bruises on said thighs. “They’re just the right amount of plump. I bet you would look so cute in thigh-highs.”

Eventually, Soonyoung moves on from Jihoon’s thighs and starts mouthing along Jihoon’s cock again. Jihoon’s head is now resting against the bed, while he has an arm slung over his face. He doesn’t want Soonyoung to know how much he is affecting him. It would give the other too much satisfaction.

Finally, when Jihoon can’t stand it anymore, Jihoon mumbles a meek “please.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you,” Soonyoung feigns ignorance, smiling smugly when Jihoon groans lowly.

“I want your mouth, _please_ ,” Jihoon manages.

“ _Good boy,_ ” Soonyoung drawls lowly. At the praise, every nerve on Jihoon’s body is on fire, and he subconsciously spreads his legs a little wider for Soonyoung.

Torturously slow, Soonyoung drags Jihoon’s boxers down his thighs and off of him, freeing his cock. But when he starts licking and teasing at the head, he does not disappoint. Jihoon’s breath hitches, then he begins to breathe out soft whimpering moans. One hand clenches Soonyoung’s hair, while the other one clenches at air. His arm is still thrown over his face. His decomposure is too embarrassing to be shown.

“I’m barely touching you,” Soonyoung teases, pinning Jihoon’s hips down with his arm. Then, he takes Jihoon’s length in his mouth and begins bobbing his head up and down.

Jihoon’s thighs are trembling, and he has to restrain himself from immediately cumming. He had completely forgotten how good another person’s mouth felt on him.

While Soonyoung has Jihoon in his mouth, his fingers begin to wander towards Jihoon’s ass. A finger prods Jihoon’s hole, soliciting a whine from him. Soonyoung pulls off Jihoon’s cock with a wet pop and smirks at him.

“Do you want my fingers here?” he utters, circling the pads of his fingers around Jihoon’s hole.

If Jihoon spoke, Soonyoung would hear his voice trembling, and he simply couldn’t have that. Instead, he nodded vigorously, pulling his thighs up with shaky hands. He was completely exposed to Soonyoung, who was still fully dressed.

Soonyoung sucks in a breath and hisses “ _nice_ ” under his breath. Jihoon doesn’t think he was meant to hear it. There’s a very long pause, and Jihoon thinks Soonyoung has begun to look for lube and condoms.

When he opens his mouth to tell Soonyoung they’re in the front pocket of his suitcase, he feels a hand coming down _hard_ on the back of his thigh. A yelp of surprise escapes him at the sting, but he’s sure Soonyoung notices the way Jihoon’s cock twitches.

“Not good enough, kitten,” Soonyoung scolds, rubbing his hand over the red flesh he just upset. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Jihoon bites his bottom lip, weighing the situation. He hates that Soonyoung was completely right about him. Much to his own annoyance, he does want to be _good_. In the back of his head, he thinks it might have something to do with the fact he’s normally a control freak at home.

But apparently, Jihoon was silent for too long, earning himself a slap on the other thigh. With this one, he moaned out, “Please! Your fingers! I want your fingers!”

“ _Good boy,_ ” Soonyoung purrs in response, which Jihoon silently preens at. “Do you have lube and condoms?”

Jihoon’s mouth is dry, yet he manages to shakily reply “front pocket of my suitcase.”

Then, Soonyoung’s body heat is no longer there, and Jihoon has to fight down a whine. Distantly, he hears rustling. While Soonyoung is looking, Jihoon resituates himself on the bed, removing his shirt to join his jeans. He leans back against the pillows and stares at Soonyoung’s ass as he bends over to search through Jihoon’s bag. It’s a nice ass.

Finally, Soonyoung finds the items, then turns around to face Jihoon. His jaw goes a slack to see Jihoon completely naked on the bed, staring at him with intent. Soonyoung’s cock gets the message as well because he can feel precome smearing in his underwear.

“Well, I’m waiting,” Jihoon says impatiently, snapping Soonyoung out of his trance. He scrambles onto the bed next to Jihoon, immediately attaching himself by the mouth to Jihoon’s neck and jaw.

“Wait,” Jihoon pushes Soonyoung off of him, only to see his blown pupils when he comes up. “I want you to undress too. It’s not fair I’m the only one who’s nude.”

Soonyoung is more than happy to comply. He barely contains himself from ripping his shirt off his body, as well as his slacks. Jihoon is pleased to see he does have nice thighs. Then, his boxers come off and his cock pops up. He wasn’t pornstar huge, but it wasn’t anything to scoff at either. Subconsciously, Jihoon licks his lips at the sight of it.

Once again, Soonyoung joins Jihoon on the bed then pops the cap of the lube.

“Are you sure about this?” Soonyoung asks as he dollops lube onto the tips of his index and middle finger. “I just wanna make sure this is completely alright.”

It is kind of strange to Jihoon for someone to ask him that question. It’s not one that used to come up very often, even when he was fooling around in his early 20’s. A guilty thought of Seungcheol comes to mind, but Jihoon pushes it away.

“It’s alright,” Jihoon confirms, exploring Soonyoung’s thighs with his wandering hands. “I wouldn’t have messaged you if I didn’t want this.”

With that, Soonyoung just nods in understanding then returns to his handiwork on Jihoon’s neck. Silently, he instructs Jihoon to lift his thighs up again, so he was practically bent in half. For a few seconds, he rubs his fingers together to warm up the lube.

Then, Jihoon feels an index finger against him. He inhales deeply because he doesn’t know when the last time he fingered himself was. Slowly, Soonyoung pushes in the single finger, and Jihoon remembers how much this kind of thing stung. In response, Jihoon whines into Soonyoung’s ear, which causes the other to accidentally grind his hips into the mattress.

“Been awhile?” Soonyoung inquires in a comforting voice. If he told Jihoon to take deep breaths, Jihoon might have to punch him.

“You have no idea,” Jihoon moans, finally getting acquainted with the intrusion as Soonyoung rocks his finger in and out.

“You’re really tight, so I figured,” Soonyoung murmurs, removing himself from Jihoon’s neck to watch his reactions. Jihoon’s eyes are screwed shut, as he refuses to make eye contact with Soonyoung while he was like this.

Jihoon is about to snap at Soonyoung to shut up but is interrupted when Soonyoung adds a second finger and scissors. It’s tense and uncomfortable for a few seconds, so Soonyoung kisses Jihoon comfortingly. But then, the pads of Soonyoung’s fingers graze against Jihoon’s prostate.

“Soonyoung,” he manages in a pitchy moan.

Encouraged, Soonyoung continues to rub his fingers along that spot. Jihoon’s thighs are trembling, as well as his small hands that struggle to hold them. Soonyoung’s other hand makes its way to Jihoon’s cock, but it’s too much. Jihoon knows if he lets Soonyoung touches his cock, he’ll cum way faster than he wants to.

“Don’t touch my cock,” Jihoon demands. “It’s too much. I’ll cum too fast if you do.”

“Oh boy, you are sensitive,” Soonyoung comments, satisfied he’s brought Jihoon to this point. But he respects Jihoon’s command and removes his hand. Besides, he thinks it might be fun to make Jihoon cum just from his cock.

After a few more minutes, Jihoon tells Soonyoung he’s ready. So, Soonyoung withdraws his fingers, rolls on a condom, and smears lube over his cock.

At the blunt feeling of Soonyoung’s head against him, Jihoon sucks in another shaky breath. Slowly, Soonyoung pushes in, making Jihoon aware that the other’s cock is wider than it looks. Nervously, Jihoon grips the sheets underneath him. Finally, Soonyoung bottoms out, and they remain very still for a few moments.

Then, when Jihoon signals he’s alright, Soonyoung begins rocking his hips back and forth. The movements are very slow, but they’re immediately making Jihoon’s head swim. After a few minutes, it’s _torturously_ slow for Jihoon.

“Faster!” Jihoon dictates but to no avail. Soonyoung keeps going the same speed.

“Good boys say please,” Soonyoung chides into Jihoon’s ear.

Jihoon groans in response but obeys. “Please go faster, Soonyoung,” he whimpers.

And Soonyoung does. In a span of 0.5 seconds, he does a complete 180 degrees shift and starts roughly moving his hips in and out of Jihoon. He’s watching Jihoon raptly, so Jihoon figures he might as well put on a show.

Jihoon begins to arch his back so his torso was closer to Soonyoung. His fingers twist and clench in his sheets. He throws back his head so his throat is bare for Soonyoung. And, he manages to chant Soonyoung’s name in between moans.

From the way Soonyoung grips the back of his thighs so tightly and groans every once in a while, Jihoon can tell his show is working.

Now, Jihoon is itching to touch his cock but every time his fingers reach for it, Soonyoung swats his hand away.

“Be a good boy,” he pants, leaning over to kiss Jihoon. So, Jihoon couldn’t even touch his cock if he wanted because it was trapped between him and Soonyoung.

Then, Soonyoung’s head begins brushing against the other’s prostate, and it’s all over for Jihoon. He can feel his orgasm building, so he begins to claw at Soonyoung’s back in warning.

“Right there,” Jihoon cries, holding on for dear life as Soonyoung begins targeting that spot at an animalistic speed.

Finally, Jihoon can’t hold back any longer, so he cums in between their stomachs, sobbing Soonyoung’s name. Soonyoung follows shortly after.

For a few seconds, they stay like that, panting and clearing their heads. When they finally separate, Soonyoung collapses on the bed next to Jihoon, whose body is still shaking. Soonyoung gets up from the bed to pad to the bathroom. When he comes back, he has a wet washcloth in hand.

“That was fucking amazing,” Soonyoung compliments hoarsely, as he wipes the cum off Jihoon’s stomach then his own.

Jihoon isn’t sure what to say in response, so he utters a “thanks” then checks the time on his phone. It is currently 3 in the morning.

He clears his throat and tries to compose himself. “It’s kind of late,” he explains. “Do you want to stay the night?”

“As tempting as it is to cuddle with someone as adorable as you, I need to be going,” Soonyoung clarifies, putting his clothes back on. “I have work in the morning.”

“Oh…alright,” Jihoon responds, unable to mask the disappointment in his voice.

Soonyoung notices then apologizes. “Maybe, I’ll message you sometime,” he tries to comfort Jihoon, which only pisses off the other more.

Jihoon just nods, covering up his shame with the bedsheets. Then, Soonyoung leaves the room, and Jihoon knows he’s never going to see him again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finishing up my fic Love, Jihoon (which is a Love, Simon AU). If anybody would like to check it out, I would be appreciative


	2. I Wish We Never Fucked, And I Mean That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof this did a lot better than I was expecting it to? thank you to everyone who read and left kudos/comments! i have a twitter (@gothsoonhoon) that i might post fic ideas and updates on??? idk i dont use twitter a lot, so this is just kind of an experiment. credit to my editor for making reading this bearable.

His childhood neighborhood hadn’t changed a single bit since Jihoon had lived there. All the same shops that used to surround his parent’s convenience store were still in business. Except, the shop owners’ children probably ran the family business now unlike Jihoon. At the end of the street, there was a run-down apartment Jihoon’s parents would forbid him from going near as a kid. Often when Jihoon would look from his window above his family’s shop, he would see police lights in front of that apartment block. He knew what kind of place it was.

Instead of a bell (like there used to be when Jihoon was a kid), there was now an electronic box that made a “bing-bong” noise when you entered the shopped. The cashier at the counter seems very familiar to Jihoon, but he had not noticed Jihoon yet. He was still busy stocking cigarettes.

“Welcome!” he calls in a chipper voice that Jihoon instantly recognizes, causing him to prickle. It is strange to hear that voice when it wasn’t murmuring lowly in your ear.

As it was inevitable, the clerk turns around, only to instantly freeze when he sees Jihoon. Jihoon thinks it is sort of funny how wide his eyes go. They look like they’re about to pop out of his head, and Jihoon would have to go chasing after them as they roll around on the floor.

“What are you doing here?!” the man demands in a squeaky, nervous voice. The Soonyoung Jihoon met last night would be so embarrassed to know all his confidence and assertiveness has dissolved from Jihoon simply walking into his own parents’ store. Before Jihoon can reply, his mother emerges from the back office.

“Jihoonie?” she calls out excitedly, stepping out from behind the counter. Her arms are wide open for Jihoon to receive his mandatory hug. “I’ve missed you! You never come to visit anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Mom,” Jihoon apologizes. Out of the corner of his eye, he can visibly see Soonyoung’s soul leave his body when he says the word “mom.” Holding back a smirk as he speaks to his mom, he continues, “I’ve been really busy with work in Seoul.”

Silently, his mom scolds him, then turns to Soonyoung. “Soonyoung!” she calls his name, causing him to have to look up from the display case he’s been pointedly staring at for the past minute. “This is my son, Jihoon. I told you he was coming to visit, right? He lives in Seoul with his boyfriend, Seungcheol.”

At the mention of Seungcheol’s name, Jihoon blanches, chancing a look at Soonyoung. The other is poorly trying to hide some indignance. Jihoon would daresay Soonyoung looks betrayed. Hot guilt festers in his gut, making breathing almost unbearable. He can only imagine what sort of person Soonyoung thinks Jihoon is.

“Jihoon,” his mother continues. “This is our store clerk, Soonyoung.”

He spits out the first stupid thought that comes to his head. “What happened to Eun?”

“She left,” his mother replies simply. “She got married, and her husband didn’t want her working here anymore.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jihoon,” Soonyoung feigns politeness, but Jihoon can clearly observe an infuriated look in his eyes—so much for Jihoon’s one night of fun.

Jihoon repeats it back, mentally praying he won’t have to speak any further to Soonyoung. He should have known last night was going to be a mistake. Cheating always comes back to bite people in the ass, especially people like Jihoon.

Before anything can be said further between the two, Jihoon’s mother starts intensely studying Soonyoung’s face. “You have bags under your eyes,” she notices. “Did you not get enough sleep last night?”

Jihoon almost chokes on his own spit. Soonyoung makes direct eye contact with Jihoon when he responds “I was awake very late last night.” The other ignores the intense staring, turns to fiddle with candy on display, and wishes he were anywhere but here. He’d rather be with Seungcheol than here.

“Doing what?” his mother asks, looking very concerned. Leave it to Jihoon’s mother to coddle even her store employees.

“Playing video games,” Soonyoung lies, but Jihoon doesn’t miss the glance he directs towards him.

“Jihoonie used to do that in high school,” his mother grumbles and gives Jihoon a scolding swat on the shoulder. “We had to dump buckets of water on him to get him out of bed. It’s a miracle he wasn’t late every day.”

It felt like treachery to his personal life for Soonyoung to know these things. It’s just a small bit of information Soonyoung would’ve never known about him had they not met again. Last night was meant to be the end of it, but this information about Jihoon’s adolescence was a door—a door which would allow Soonyoung, his one-night stand, to walk into his life. And, Jihoon isn't sure if he wants that or not.

Soonyoung only hums in response, now refusing to acknowledge Jihoon is even there. “We got a truck, but there are too many boxes,” Soonyoung comments to Jihoon’s mother.

He knows what’s going to happen now. Growing up, his parents always made him help around the shop, including stocking the merchandise after a truck came. This was no exception.

“My husband and I have to go to the bank to meet with someone about our business account. Jihoon can help you stock,” she states, gesturing to her poor son, who is about to fling his body into the ocean.

Jihoon is about to raise objections, but Soonyoung protests Jihoon shouldn’t have to since he isn't a paid employee. Soonyoung seems very adamant about not being in the store alone with Jihoon, which pisses Jihoon off. Did Soonyoung think less of him because he had a hook-up while in a relationship?

 _Who does he think he is?_ Jihoon thought. _He doesn’t know me or my situation._

“I’ll help,” Jihoon decides, glaring at Soonyoung. This was his parents’ shop, and Soonyoung wasn’t going to drive him off because he was uncomfortable around him.

Jihoon is too stuck in his own head to notice how Soonyoung tenses yet stares raptly at him like he did last night. He doesn’t know that while Soonyoung is angry, he still thinks Jihoon is one of the most intriguing people he’s ever met.

 

*********

 

It’s still early in the morning, so the store is dead. Jihoon disappears into the storeroom and reappears with what seems to be a box of instant noodles. He immediately makes a beeline for the shelf of instant meals, avoiding walking past the counter along the way.

But, when he gets to the aisle, there are travel-sized toiletries there instead. His face twists into a grimace of confusion. It can’t be right. Jihoon knows this store like the back of his hand.

Little is Jihoon aware, Soonyoung is watching him from the front counter with a very amused and smug look on his face.

“The noodles are on the aisle closest to the door,” Soonyoung points out. “We had to switch them around because kids kept sneaking in and stealing cosmetics.”

Jihoon nods dumbly, picking up the box and moving to the front of the store, closer to Soonyoung. He’s mildly embarrassed Soonyoung knows the shop better than he does.

He silently stocks the noodles, trying to ignore the way Soonyoung has been staring at him from the counter for the past 5 minutes. Soonyoung is beginning to get on Jihoon’s last nerve.

Finally, he turns to Soonyoung and snaps at him. “Why don’t you stock something instead of standing there and looking at me?!”

Soonyoung glares at him and shoots back “I’m just trying to figure out how someone so tiny and cute can be so evil and deceitful.”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Jihoon growls, barely restraining himself from chucking the Cup of Noodles in his hand at Soonyoung’s stupid head.

Soonyoung rolls his eyes and lets a look of disbelief fall upon his face. He hums like he’s considering something. “Oh…I don’t know. Maybe, it has to do with that fact that you’re a goddamn cheater, and you used _me_ to two-time your boyfriend!”

Jihoon’s not restraining anymore. Hard as he can, he chucks the noodles at the offending person. It hits Soonyoung in the face, and he’s startled for a second, fumbling to catch the falling cup. A wave of satisfaction courses over Jihoon.

Then, Soonyoung is gripping the cup tightly. A look of fury is clear across his face, and Jihoon thinks he might start yelling any minute.

Instead, he throws the cup back to Jihoon but with less force. “Just keeping stocking and don’t talk to me,” Soonyoung mumbles lowly, turning away from Jihoon to busy himself with something behind the counter.

Guilt takes over the wave, drowning Jihoon in shame. There has to be something wrong with him. Even though he knew it was wrong, he succumbed to his own desires. No matter how he feels about his relationship with Seungcheol, his actions made him a bad person. The idea alone was almost unbearable. Jihoon feels as if his conscience is about to swallow him whole.

 

*******

 

Somehow, they avoid each other until 2 p.m. Then, Jihoon has to stock drinks in the coolers. Much to his own chagrin, he can’t reach the top shelf of the cooler. He couldn’t reach it when he was in high school, and he still can’t reach it now. His dad always stocked the drinks in Jihoon’s stead.

Just as he was about to go into the office to search for a step-stool, Soonyoung approaches him from the side, arms crossed with a very amused look on his face at Jihoon’s misery.

“Need some help?” Soonyoung asks pompously, and Jihoon considers throwing the can of energy drink in his hand at him. It would definitely hurt a lot more than ramen noodles.

“Not from you,” Jihoon retorts, still struggling to reach even though he’s standing on his toes.

Soonyoung chooses to ignore this. He comes up behind Jihoon, placing a very gentle hand on Jihoon’s waist as he takes the can from Jihoon’s hand. Touch is barely there, but it still causes Jihoon to tingle. Soonyoung is wearing the same cologne from last night.

With ease, Soonyoung extends his arm and places the drink on the top shelf. Then, suddenly, Jihoon can feel Soonyoung’s hot breath against his neck.

“Now that wasn’t too hard, was it, princess?” he whispers in Jihoon’s ear. After Jihoon fights back a shiver and shock, he elbows Soonyoung as hard as he can in the gut.

Soonyoung doubles over, shouting out curses.

“You don’t get to be a jerk to me and then act like that!” Jihoon reprimands, slamming the cooler door shut.

“How does so much mean fit into so much tiny?” Soonyoung groans, showing Jihoon a rude gesture.

“I’m not mean! I just don’t like being treated like shit by somebody who barely even knows me!” Jihoon yells, catching Soonyoung off guard. He thinks the other is going to realize the error of his ways and beg forgiveness.

It doesn’t happen.

“I know your type!” Soonyoung shouts right back, a fire lit in his eyes. “You play with people’s feelings and mess around, but you don’t care who you hurt. I bet your boyfriend loves you, and you just throw away your relationship for some quick fling.”

Jihoon’s head is reeling. Everything about Soonyoung’s statement is wrong. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t feel guilty. And does Seungcheol love him? Obviously, he cares about him, but Jihoon isn’t sure if Seungcheol _loves_ him anymore. People who love each other shouldn’t want to rip each other’s throats out, right?

In response, Jihoon huffs out a laugh in disbelief. Soonyoung was just making assumptions based on nothing.

“Projecting much?” Jihoon asks in astonishment. “You don’t _know me_ . You just _think_ you do! Blowing me is _not_ equivalent to knowing me.”

For a second, Soonyoung seems remorseful for wrongly accusing Jihoon of apathy. However, it didn’t last long. Soon enough Soonyoung was yelling at him again.

“Well, thanks for letting me know,” the other seethes. “I won’t be doing _that_ ever again. I don’t want to be an accessory to your crime. I wish I never did it with you.”

“Who says I would ever invite you to?” Jihoon spits back. He’s breathing heavily, and his stance is that of a tiger about to pounce. “Do you think you’re morally superior to me? It was just sex. It’s not like I killed someone. I’m not going to walk around acting like I’m some low life because I made one mistake.”

The bell rang, interrupting whatever irritating comment Soonyoung was about to make.

“Sorry, we were gone so long,” Jihoon’s mother states as they walk into the store. “We stopped to eat lun—”

As soon as his parents walk into the store, they freeze, feeling the overpowering tension from Jihoon and Soonyoung’s fight. They know something is wrong, and Jihoon knows it from the way his mother throws a concerned glance at his father.

“Is everything ok, boys?” Jihoon’s father asks, right after clearing his throat.

Immediately, Soonyoung changes his disposition and feigns contentment. Meanwhile, Jihoon is still thinking about throwing something at the other’s head. Again.

“Everything’s fine,” Soonyoung lies, throwing nervous glances between his bosses and their son. “We were just having a stupid argument about a show. Nothing serious.”

Uncertain, Jihoon’s mother accepts the answer. Then, she and her husband disappear into the office.

As soon as they are gone, Soonyoung turns to Jihoon and hisses “I swear to god if I lose my job over you… Just please stay away from me”

“My pleasure,” Jihoon chides, heading for the back office to say goodbye to his parents. “You can finish the stocking on your own. I’m going back to my hotel room.”

When he finally exits the building, he screams as loud as he possibly can. Soonyoung is completely insufferable. He can’t believe he slept with someone like that. No matter how attractive Soonyoung is, he’s a jerk. It was that simple. The next few weeks were going to be pure torture.

 


	3. Whenever You Are Around, I Can't Speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for supporting this! Comments and kudos raise my dopamine levels, and I might just write more nsfw content if you leave them. I'm not sure how often updates will be once the Oh My drops, because my gay ass is going to be streaming THE FUCK out of it as often as I can.

For the next week, neither of them hardly acknowledge each other. Every time Jihoon comes to the shop, he avoids Soonyoung as best as he can, which means he walks straight past the counter without a single word or eye contact. Occasionally, Soonyoung will ignore his contempt and ask for small favors like taking out the trash or carrying boxes to and from the storeroom, but they never speak as they complete their tasks.

Though, from time to time, Soonyoung will watch Jihoon work while he isn’t looking. As a matter of fact, Soonyoung really doesn’t want to hate Jihoon. There’s now a little part of him that believes there’s much more to Jihoon than meets the eye. He realizes that maybe he has judged Jihoon too harshly, and perhaps he should swallow his pride and talk to Jihoon like an adult.

Neither of them has been acting very mature about the situation.

Friday evening, Jihoon goes with his parents to dinner to discuss their plans for wills. Jihoon is an only child, so he’s going to inherit their entire estate, including the store. Frankly, Jihoon isn’t sure how he’s going to run the shop when he receives it. His whole life, including his relationship and practice, is in Seoul. He supposes he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

When he goes back to the shop with them, Soonyoung is watching the front counter. He looks at Jihoon in disdain as he comes in, so Jihoon shoots a look of annoyance right back. Jihoon’s mother asks Soonyoung how he is.

“I could be better,” he confesses. “Staying ‘til the middle of the night is going to be tough, but I’ll get through it.”

 _Middle of the night?_ Jihoon thinks. Then he suddenly remembers. It was Friday evening. The shop was open until 3 in the morning on Fridays and Saturdays. It was a policy his parents implemented in his senior year of high school. They did it partly for profit, partly because they believed Jihoon couldn’t get into trouble if he was watching the store most of the night. Either way, he thought to stay in the store all night was hell because you had to deal with drunk and drugged-out customers.

“Jihoon, will you stay tonight and help Soonyoung?” his mother turns to him and asks. Soonyoung instantly looks as if he wants to object to the idea. “There is a lot of stocking to still be done. And maybe, you can take turns watching the counter.”

His evening would be better spent drinking in some bar since there is nothing else to do. But, since Soonyoung is so against the idea of working an overnight shift with Jihoon, he can’t help but feel generous tonight. He agrees with his mother to work the graveyard shift, much to Soonyoung’s disappointment.

 

*******

 

Throughout the evening, neighbors from around the block would come by and coo about how grown up Jihoon is now. Some of these people, he’s known since he was an infant. It boggles his mind how people stay in this neighborhood for that long.

There weren’t any problem customers until around midnight.

Then, Seo Jinwoo walks into the store. Jihoon knows Jinwoo and his little brother very well. They both had a nasty habit for dealing their drugs outside of the store late at night and trying to get free merchandise from Jihoon. It was common for Jinwoo to bring around his _ladies of the night_ to flirt with Jihoon in hopes he would cough up some cigarettes in appreciation. His formula might’ve worked if he brought men.

It shouldn’t surprise Jihoon that Jinwoo still lives here, but it does. He instantly approaches Jihoon when he sees him sitting on the counter with Soonyoung behind him.

“Lee Jihoon! I’ve missed seeing your cute little face,” Jinwoo announces, making large gestures with his arms. His breath reeks of liquor, he has sunglasses on—probably to hide his bloodshot eyes—and his hair looks like it hasn’t been washed in a week. “How you been? Are you still a sad virgin?”

Soonyoung tenses behind the counter and Jihoon glances at him from the corner of his eye. Suddenly, he seems very worried. Jihoon climbs off the counter so he is behind it with Soonyoung.

“That’s none of your business,” Jihoon retorts coldly. From the corner of his eye, he’s aware Soonyoung’s finger is on the alarm button.

“Well, you always used to turn down my girls,” he explains, leaning on the counter. “I just assumed.”

“What do you want?” Jihoon asks, glaring at the other.

“Cigarettes” was his simple answer.

“Are you going to pay for them?” the other responds.

Jinwoo hums in consideration for a moment. “You know,” he begins. “Word on the street is that our little Jihoonie likes men. I can bring you men if that’s what it takes.”

At that statement, Soonyoung slightly steps in front of Jihoon. One hand is still ready to push the alarm button and the other is firmly on the counter, blocking Jinwoo from Jihoon.

“Buy something or get out,” Soonyoung deadpans, glaring at the offending man.

“I see you already got yourself one, Jihoonie,” Jinwoo observes amusedly. “If you ever get bored of him, you know where to find me.”

“Get out!” Soonyoung yells at Jinwoo.

Finally, he concedes to leave, and Soonyoung finally drops his protective stance when the other is gone.

“Man, I always hated that guy,” Soonyoung breathes, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “He’s such a pain in the ass.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t have to grow up around him,” Jihoon comments, still surprised Soonyoung defended him. The other cocks his head in confusion at Jihoon’s statement. “He and his little brother live in the apartment block down the street. I’ve known them both since I was a little kid. They’ve always been trouble.”

“I don’t even know, man,” Soonyoung huffs out. “I was so worried he might try and get violent, especially when he brought up you _liking men_.”

“He’s a prick, but he wouldn’t do anything stupid like that,” Jihoon admits. “That would just mean BIG prison time for him, and he doesn’t want that.”

It’s silent for a moment, as Soonyoung cradles his head in his arms on the counter. Jihoon’s worried Soonyoung might’ve fallen asleep on the counter.

“Thanks for protecting and defending me,” Jihoon utters, wondering if Soonyoung will even hear it. 

“Anytime, princess,” Soonyoung mumbles, muffled by his position.

Maybe, Soonyoung wasn’t _that_ much of an asshole.

 

******

 

The store is stuck in a silent haze as 2 a.m. comes around. Jihoon is sitting on the counter again, phone in hand scrolling through his news feed. Soonyoung still has his head on the counter and might be asleep for all Jihoon knows. In the background, a little radio behind the counter rings out some popular boy group song.

In the quiet of the night, Jihoon’s phone rings, yet it’s not “Bang, Bang, Bang” this time. It’s a Beyoncé song he set specifically for one person. Raising from his sleepy haze, Soonyoung alerts his attention to the music. Jihoon pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks the lockscreen.

“I have to take this,” he tells Soonyoung, hopping off the counter and stepping outside of the shop.

The street is almost silent—save for a few barking dogs, hollering police sirens, and passing cars in the distance. It’s pleasant. Jihoon always liked the neighborhood best at night.

“Hey, Seungkwan,” Jihoon answers, leaning against an old payphone. There’s loud rustling in the background, and Jihoon has reason to believe his friend may be at a party.

“Jihooooon,” Seungkwan calls out, definitely slightly inebriated. “You haven’t talked to me in _days_. How is Busan?”

Heavily, he sighs. Seungkwan was the friend who convinced him to download that cursed hell-app, Grindr. In fact, he wants to place blame on Seungkwan, but he knows it wouldn’t be right. He made the decision all on his own.

“I’ve done something very _very_ bad,” Jihoon confesses, feeling a little choked up.

Suddenly, the tone of the conversation changes. Jihoon can hear Seungkwan rustling as he leaves the room to go to a quiet area, maybe a bedroom.

“Tell me about it,” he finally says in a very serious voice.

“You know that app you told me to download?” Jihoon manages, feeling a little bit of wetness in the corner of his eye.

“Oh my god,” Seungkwan gasps in shock, then hisses, “You _didn’t.”_

“I did,” Jihoon discloses.

Seungkwan groans loudly on the other side of the line. “I meant it as a joke when I told you to download that,” he rushes, sounding more panicked and frantic than Jihoon was at the moment. “I didn’t think you were _actually_ going to use it.”

“Well, your joke sucked, Seungkwan,” Jihoon snaps.

“Ji, what were you _thinking_?” he sighs as if Jihoon cheated on him rather than Seungcheol.

“I don’t know,” Jihoon breathes, playing with a string on the sleeve of his jacket. Guilt wells up in his stomach for the hundredth time that week. It comes frequently: when Jihoon is showering, when he is in bed, when he is with his parents, but _especially_ when he is in the store with Soonyoung. He can never escape it. “It gets worse. My hook-up also turns out to be my parent’s employee, so now I’m around him constantly.”

“What are you going to do, Ji?” Seungkwan asks gently, finally realizing scolding Jihoon does nothing for his situation.

“I have no clue,” Jihoon acknowledges. For a moment, he notices Soonyoung has been staring at him very intently from inside the store. “You can’t tell _anyone_ , alright? Not Seungcheol. Not Vernon. Keep this to yourself.”

“You have to tell him, Ji,” the other directs firmly as if Jihoon didn’t already know that.

“I will. I just need to figure out how,” Jihoon tells him. He knows deep down Seungkwan wouldn’t go to Seungcheol and inform him like that behind Jihoon’s back, but he is worried about Seungkwan letting it slip to Vernon, Seungcheol’s favorite dongsaeng. If Vernon finds out, there’s no doubt he’ll go running to Seungcheol to confess Jihoon’s sins.

Seungkwan assures him he won’t tell anyone. The line is very quiet for a moment before Seungkwan speaks up again.

“Is he cute?”

Jihoon looks at Soonyoung in the window, who immediately tries to look busy as if he hasn’t been staring at Jihoon for the past 5 minutes.

“Yeah,” Jihoon murmurs. “He is.”

 

**********

 

When he goes back in the store, Soonyoung flippantly asks him about the phone call, as if he doesn’t care what Jihoon says. Yet, Jihoon is kind of aware that he really does.

“Just a friend in Seoul,” Jihoon declares because it was the truth. “He was calling to check up on me.”

“At 2 in the morning?” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow, not buying what Jihoon was selling.

“He’s still young and likes to party,” Jihoon explains, even though Seungkwan was really only two years younger than he was.

Soonyoung hums in acknowledgment, still not believing. Jihoon doesn’t really care if he does or not. His personal life is none of the other’s business.

Jihoon reclaims his spot on the counter, and they sit together in silence for a few minutes until Jihoon can’t bear it anymore. The silence was about to eat his heart out. He has to say something to Soonyoung. Why do they hate each other so much?

So, he asks something he’s been wondering about since he set foot in his old neighborhood. “How many times has the counter been robbed since you’ve been working here?”

It wasn’t an unreasonable question. Jihoon wasn’t dumb. He knew his parents’ shop and apartment were in a very rough neighborhood. They weren’t exactly the richest family either.

Seeming confused, Soonyoung just blinks at Jihoon for a moment. He didn’t expect the other to try and make conversation with him, much less about _robbery at gunpoint._

“None,” he answers carefully and slowly. It blows his mind that Jihoon would even ask. In this neighborhood, Soonyoung used to worry about something like that happening, but it never has.

His answer seems to surprise Jihoon. So, he asks, “How many times was the counter robbed when you were working here?”

“Three times,” Jihoon claims, gesturing the number with his fingers. They’re tiny and adorable. Somehow, Soonyoung wants to hold Jihoon’s hand. “I guess the neighborhood has cleaned up since I’ve lived here.”

“Is that why you left Busan?” Soonyoung wonders out loud. “Because of the store?”

Jihoon thinks very carefully about his next words, wringing the sleeves of his jacket in his palms. He can’t believe he was about to have a heart to heart with _Soonyoung_ , the guy who hated him.

“Partially,” he admits. “I really left because I wanted to move on to something bigger—have a fulfilling career and relationship. I guess I don’t have either of those.”

Soonyoung tenses for a moment when he remembers Seungcheol but instantly relaxes again. He turns his head so that he’s looking into Jihoon’s eyes. They glitter with the kind of unshed tears a confession and self-realization could bring.

“Is that why you did it?” Soonyoung asks, needing no explanation for what he means. It’s always been the elephant in the room. As he waits for an answer, he searches Jihoon’s face for any signs of deceit. There is none. Jihoon is as vulnerable as he could possibly be right now.

“I think so,” Jihoon admits, staring at Soonyoung. “I guess, I’ve just been…stuck,” Jihoon struggles to find the right words, but Soonyoung is still listening very closely. “I’m stuck in a never-ending cycle. I go to work, where I hate what I do. I go home, where I constantly fight with Seungcheol. When you messaged me, it felt like…freedom.”

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything. Rather, he just stares at Jihoon, wondering how unfortunate it was for them to meet under such complicated circumstances. It was just a slight feeling like Soonyoung wasn’t sure if it was actually there or not, but he believes he adores Jihoon as a lover in another universe.

“I know that doesn’t excuse my behavior,” Jihoon quickly explains when Soonyoung doesn’t respond. Distantly, he’s afraid Soonyoung might blow up at him again.

“But,” he swallows thickly and avoids eye contact, feeling tears welling up at his next proclamation. “I’m not even sure if Seungcheol loves me anymore. Sure, he cares about me, but we’ve known each other for so long that it’s impossible not too. It’s like I’ve been watching my relationship die before my very eyes, and there’s nothing I can do. I met up with you because I needed to feel…wanted.”

When it all spills out, he’s not sure why he’s told all of that to his former one-night stand who hates him. It’s ridiculous when he thinks about it. There must be something about being alone with a person at 2:30 in the morning that makes you want to expose your heart to them.

“I had no idea,” Soonyoung responds with guilt because he was so cruel to Jihoon as he was only thinking of his own experiences and feelings. Jihoon wasn’t inherently evil. He was just someone with needs—someone who made a mistake to fulfill those needs.

“Maybe,” Jihoon begins, poking Soonyoung roughly on the forehead,“you shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. I’m not the type of person to have flings and affairs, but everyone has a breaking point.”

“Are you going to tell him?” Soonyoung asks, swatting Jihoon’s finger away from his face.

“Obviously, I have to,” Jihoon decides. “There’s evidently something seriously flawed with our relationship. It would be a disservice to me and him to continue going on as if nothing was wrong. Though, I have no clue how I’m going to do it yet.”

Soonyoung hums in acknowledgment, then they sit in silence for a moment. Jihoon's guilt partially subsides because Soonyoung no longer seems to look down on him. In fact, he feels as if a small weight has been lifted from his heavy heart. Every little bit counts.

“Wait,” Soonyoung breaks the silence, watching Jihoon very closely as he spoke. “When we… uhm… had sex, you said it had been _awhile since._ ”

“That wasn’t a lie,” Jihoon interjects very matter-of-factly. “I guarantee you, Seungcheol and I haven’t had sex in months, not for my lack of trying. Every hint I would drop at him, he would just ignore.”

Soonyoung seems very shocked at this, as he stares at Jihoon as if he has grown two heads. It starts to bother Jihoon, so he snaps. “You clearly want to say something, so say it!”

“It just amazes me that he won’t even touch you,” Soonyoung declares, eyes glancing at Jihoon’s lips. “He’s a fool because you are undoubtedly the most alluring creature on this planet. If I was your boyfriend, I would constantly be all over you.”

Jihoon knows what’s about to happen. Soonyoung is going to make a move on him, and he’s going to fall head first because Soonyoung was no longer a quick hook-up. He was someone Jihoon shared his feelings with and confessed his biggest burden to. Once again, more doors were opening up for Soonyoung to walk through his life.

“Do you know what game you’re playing?” Jihoon asks, searching Soonyoung face. What for, he wasn’t sure.

“What do you mean?” Soonyoung feigns innocence, drawing closer to Jihoon’s face. The tips of Soonyoung’s fingers graze against Jihoon’s jaw. The action is so much more gentle and intimate than the night they first met. He’s looking at Jihoon as if he’s never seen anyone like him. As a result, Jihoon’s heart was about to beat out of his chest.

“I mean,” Jihoon begins to explain. “If you do this, you can’t write it off as ignorance. You’ll be an accessory to my crime.”

Soonyoung lets out a regretful sigh then offers Jihoon a sincere look in his eyes. “I wasn’t thinking when I said that. I was just acting like a jerk,” Soonyoung tells him. “You’re not a criminal for wanting to be appreciated.”

Jihoon doesn’t reply, instead, he just lets his eyes flutter shut as he waits for Soonyoung to kiss him. It’s barely a graze of the lips, but it makes Jihoon’s stomach lurch. Then, Soonyoung deepens the kiss, firmly cradling Jihoon’s face in his hands. Absentmindedly, Jihoon notices a sweet taste of cherry chapstick.

The next thing Jihoon knows, he’s climbing over the counter so he’s behind it with Soonyoung, never breaking the kiss as he does. Soonyoung’s sitting in a chair they moved behind the counter since there were no customers anyway. Before he can even think about what he’s doing, Jihoon crawls into Soonyoung’s lap and straddles him. Soonyoung’s hands instantly go to Jihoon’s waist.

Though, they can’t take it too far. They see a group of drunk college students outside the shop, heading inside. Immediately, they separate and try to pretend as if they weren’t just making out. If they hadn't been interrupted, Jihoon’s not sure how far they would have gone. His face goes bright red at the idea he might have had sex in his parents’ store.

When the group leaves, it is 2:50 in the morning. The store closes in ten minutes.

“Do you want to go back to my apartment when we get off work?” Soonyoung whispers into his ear, holding Jihoon from behind with his hands moving along his waist to his hips.

“What happened to your moral high road?” Jihoon asks, breath hitching when he feels Soonyoung’s hard-on pressed to the curve of his ass.

“I don’t care about it as much now I know your boyfriend is wasting probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him,” Soonyoung murmurs, placing a kiss on Jihoon’s jaw. Jihoon almost forgot what a sweet-talker Soonyoung was.

“In that case,” Jihoon turns to Soonyoung, moving the other’s hand so it was placed firmly on his ass. “I’m all yours tonight.”

Soonyoung just grins dumbly back at him. These past few days Jihoon has been drowning, but at least, Soonyoung was willing to step into the pool…as long as Jihoon was in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Jinwoo isn't representative of anyone. In fact, he isn't even an important character. I just used him as a plot point to describe what kind of neighborhood the shop is in. 
> 
> My editor thinks I project through Jihoon, when in reality we are just the exact same type of gay. I'm sorry for blue-balling you guys right before we got to the good parts. It'll come in the next chapter lmao. 
> 
> For those of you who care about Love, Jihoon, I'm gonna post that bonus one-shot when it reaches 1500 hits.


	4. He Ain't A Killer, But He'd Fuckin' Blow Your Head Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lu, thank you for reading porn that you probably didn't even want to read. Leave kudos and comments for my poor editor who isn't even a svt stan. It's porn with feelings now bitches!! so strap in!
> 
> Also, if you have time, please try and stream oh my :)

Finally, they are able to lock up the store. Just as Jihoon is turning the key to the front door, he notices Soonyoung, once again, staring at him. 

“What?” he asks, not even glancing at Soonyoung. 

“You are...just so fucking cute. Did you know that?” the other answers, grabbing Jihoon’s hand. It’s something couples would do, and Jihoon knows this is more of a betrayal than  _ just  _ sleeping with Soonyoung. Now, feelings are involved. Things were about to get messy. 

Jihoon murmurs for Soonyoung to “shut up” in response, but he secretly loves the little compliments Soonyoung gives him. At least, someone  _ likes  _ him.

So, Jihoon lets Soonyoung hold his hand as he leads him to his apartment. The other lives 4 blocks from the shop. Both of them want to say something while they’re still out in the night, but neither can find the right words to say to each other. That was perfectly alright with Jihoon because he was too buzzing with anticipation to participate in a conversation. 

Instead of speaking, Soonyoung just gently rubs his thumb in soothing motions against the hand in his. Once in a while, he’ll glance at Jihoon and smile to himself because the other looks so pretty under the streetlights. He always looks pretty. 

It’s slightly misting with tiny water droplets as they walk through the silent street. As soon as they are in sight of Soonyoung’s building, there’s a full downpour. They both race towards the sheltered staircase which leads up to the apartment. Their clothes are pretty much soaked when they climb up and reach Soonyoung’s door. 

“Good thing I was planning to take these off,” Jihoon jokes with a slight flirty lilt to his voice. Soonyoung lets out a nervous laugh as he goes bright red, unlocking the door. Finally, he lets Jihoon into his apartment (which is a little messy due to his busy schedule). They both take off their shoes and socks.

“Do you want something to drink? Coffee?” Soonyoung asks politely, unbuttoning his wet shirt. Jihoon tries his best to not stare, so he starts to examine the apartment. 

“That’s just what I want before sex—coffee,” Jihoon remarks sarcastically, turning his red face from Soonyoung’s view as he looks at his bookshelf stocked with DVDs, manga, and little collectible items. Maybe, Soonyoung was a nerd as well. 

“Fine. What do you want, Mr. Lee Jihoon?” Soonyoung shoots back, rolling his eyes yet smiling. 

“Water is alright,” he responds, setting off to study Soonyoung’s living room while the other is in the kitchen. 

While Jihoon is inspecting the new area, he notices a box marked “trash” shoved into the corner of the room. Among other various items (which look like they belong to a girl), there is a broken photo frame, containing a photo with a younger Soonyoung and some girl at what looks like an amusement park. Soonyoung looks undeniably happy as he holds this girl in his arms. She’s laughing as he kisses her temple. A slight hot flare of jealousy flares up in Jihoon’s stomach, even though he knows he has no right to feel that way. And, in any case, it seems Soonyoung is no longer with this girl, so it doesn’t even matter. 

But, why hasn’t he thrown out this box if it’s marked “trash?” 

“It’s unfiltered tap water, so I hope you’re not a snob,” Soonyoung says, voice growing louder as he began to emerge from the kitchen. As soon as he hears the other’s voice, Jihoon jumps away from the box, attempting not seem guilty for snooping through Soonyoung’s private life. It was none of his business anyway. 

“I don’t care,” Jihoon comments, meeting Soonyoung in front of the couch and taking the glass from his hand. He takes a sip, then awkwardly scrambles to get a coaster to set the glass down on the coffee table. Soonyoung is staring at him the entire time, and it dawns on Jihoon he’s still standing in Soonyoung’s living room with dripping wet clothes. 

“Maybe, you should take your clothes off before you sit on the couch,” Soonyoung teases though completely serious as lustful haze clouds over his eyes. He’s also still in a wet undershirt and black skinny jeans. 

“Good idea,” Jihoon murmurs back, matching the expression on Soonyoung’s face. So, he peels off his soaked hoodie, then his t-shirt. Feeling slightly self-conscious as Soonyoung stares at him, he attempts to cover up with his arms. 

  
“I don’t know why you are so shy,” Soonyoung purrs, peeling off his undershirt. “You’re really amazing, to be honest.”

At that, Jihoon blushes, even though he isn’t the type to get flustered easily. With no real bite, he smacks Soonyoung’s shoulder then reaches for the button and zipper of his jeans. The other’s breathe hitches as he stares at Jihoon’s hands unbuttoning, unzipping, and pulling off his pants. His thighs were as cute as they were last time. Soonyoung doesn’t think he’s been more attracted to anybody in his entire life. 

So, Jihoon was standing there with an obvious tent in his damp boxers, moving to help Soonyoung with his own offending clothing. This time Jihoon initiates a kiss as he undoes the button and zipper of Soonyoung’s jeans. The other sighs heavily into the kiss, slightly gasping when Jihoon’s hand brushes against his clothed cock. 

“Desperate for it?” Jihoon breaks the kiss to ask smugly. 

“I’ve been thinking about you  _ all week _ ,” Soonyoung confesses, letting Jihoon kiss his neck as he slides Soonyoung’s jeans down his thighs and legs. “Even when we fought, I would go home at night and think about you.”

“I’m honored,” Jihoon utters, pushing Soonyoung down onto the couch. The other has no objections as Jihoon climbs into Soonyoung’s lap, his thighs embracing Soonyoung’s hips. They’re both still in damp boxers, but the friction between their clothed cocks makes Jihoon gasp a little bit. Soonyoung’s hands immediately come up to hold Jihoon’s waist, as the other continues his ministrations on Soonyoung’s neck. 

“I can see why you like doing this so much,” Jihoon casually remarks in between kisses. Soonyoung bucks his hips up into Jihoon’s crotch, causing the other to yelp in surprise. So, in return, he begins to grind his hips in a rocking motion against Soonyoung which elicits a low groan from the other. 

“Oh my god! Your boyfriend  _ so _ doesn’t deserve you,” he moans, sliding his hands down Jihoon’s waist to slip his the tips of his fingers in the elastic of Jihoon’s boxers. Slowly, he slides them down then grabs two handfuls of flesh. 

“Tell me about it,” Jihoon gasps, momentarily climbing off Soonyoung’s lap so he can slip his boxers off. His cock immediately bobs up with a little bead of precum developing at the head. Soonyoung groans lowly at the sight of it, as his cock twitches in his own underwear. Every cell in his body is tingling as Jihoon lowers to his knees in front of the couch, his face level with Soonyoung’s crotch.

“I can see you’ve missed me a lot,” Jihoon notices, gesturing to the dark wet spot of precum on Soonyoung’s underwear. Before Soonyoung can reply, Jihoon is rubbing the other’s clothed cock and looking positively mischievous. It’s hard to believe this is the same person Soonyoung had on his back with his legs spread just about a week ago. 

“Aren’t you going to do something about it?” Soonyoung asks sweetly, pushing Jihoon’s hair out of his face. For a moment, he smiles cutely at the gentle action, and Soonyoung’s heart flutters.

Instead of replying, Jihoon leans over to mouth Soonyoung’s cock through his boxers. His hands are gripping Soonyoung’s thighs, while Soonyoung’s hands card gently through Jihoon’s black hair. Then, Jihoon looks up at him with wide, innocent looking eyes, and Soonyoung knows it’s a farce to rile him up, but he can’t help his hips from bucking up slightly. 

“You are such a tease,” Soonyoung hisses, heart beating quickly when Jihoon moves his hands from Soonyoung’s thighs to the elastic of his boxers. 

“You don’t get to talk, Mr. Be-A-Good-Boy,” Jihoon snorts, finally pulling Soonyoung’s boxers down and freeing his cock. Instantly, Jihoon holds it in his hand and laps tiny-kitten-licks at the head. Soonyoung throws his head back and whimpers, thighs trembling in Jihoon’s grip. 

“Who’s sensitive now?” Jihoon boasts, taking Soonyoung’s head into his mouth before the other can reply. The hand in Jihoon’s hair grabs a handful but gently, as if Soonyoung was afraid of hurting Jihoon. In reply to Jihoon’s question, Soonyoung exhales “me” shakily. 

He’s breathing heavily and letting out slow moans as Jihoon takes him completely into his mouth. A small smile pulls at the corner of Jihoon’s lips when Soonyoung moans his name after Jihoon starts bobbing his head up and down. 

Jihoon’s hands are gripping Soonyoung’s hips—hard enough to bruise—to keep him from bucking up. He chances a glance up at Soonyoung, who is watching Jihoon with mesmerized hooded eyes. Once again, Soonyoung brushes Jihoon’s hair out of his face and smiles fondly at him. 

“God, you are so cute,” Soonyoung whispers, mostly to himself. 

So, Jihoon pulls off with a loud, wet pop and rests his chin against Soonyoung’s thighs. His expression is just as entranced as Soonyoung’s is. This is the moment he realizes Soonyoung is the kind of person he’s wanted this entire time, even before he met the other.

“Really?” Jihoon asks sheepishly, smiling up at the other while slowly rubbing Soonyoung’s cock in his fist. 

“Definitely,” Soonyoung affirms, grabbing a hold of Jihoon’s hands to pull him back onto the couch. Yet again, Jihoon is in Soonyoung’s lap, except, this time, there were no interrupting clothes in between them. So, Jihoon straddles Soonyoung, taking both of their cocks in his hand. They don’t entirely fit, so Soonyoung wraps his hand around Jihoon’s, rubbing their cocks together. 

Suddenly, Jihoon throws his head back and lets out a shaky gasp. The friction is just too good, and he feels as if he might melt in Soonyoung’s grasp. His other hand flies to the couch over Soonyoung’s shoulder, gripping so tightly his knuckles are white. 

Then, Soonyoung begins rocking his hips up, which actually makes Jihoon melt. He buries his face into the other’s neck, as little unallowed whimpers begin to escape from his mouth. Soonyoung is very satisfied with himself as Jihoon becomes a mess in his lap. 

Yet again, Soonyoung took the opportunity to tell Jihoon how adorable he found the other. Before Jihoon could even scold the other, Soonyoung swipes his thumb over the head of Jihoon’s cock, spreading a large bead of precum. Still being so sensitive, what were supposed to be words came out as breathy moans in the form of Soonyoung’s name.

“You can say whatever you want to seem bitter and tough, but I  _ know _ you are a huge softie on the inside,” Soonyoung purrs, holding on tight enough to bruise to Jihoon’s hip. 

“You sure think you know a lot about me, Kwon Soonyoung,” Jihoon huffs shakily, moving his hand to the back of Soonyoung’s neck and burying his face deeper into the crook of the other’s neck as he holds on for dear life. 

“It’s just my intuition, Ji, but I think you are a lot warmer than you make yourself out to be,” Soonyoung observes, placing soft kisses on the other’s shoulder and collarbone.

And, just like that, Soonyoung unwittingly can have anything he wants from Jihoon because he sees right through him. By recognizing Jihoon’s apathy was a facade, Soonyoung knocks down many of the walls Jihoon has placed around him.

So, when Soonyoung tells him to cum, he does.  Shamelessly and unrestrained, it splatters between their stomachs. For a moment, they sit perfectly still, panting against each other. Jihoon’s thighs are still trembling, as he throws his arms around Soonyoung’s neck and buries his face into his throat. Soonyoug holds on gently to his waist as the other comes down from his high.

Eventually, they separate and Jihoon sits down on the couch as Soonyoung gets up, puts on his boxers, and goes to what is presumably the bathroom. Unable to control himself, he throws another glance towards the “trash” box. Who was that girl to Soonyoung? Furthermore, who was he to Soonyoung?

This certainly didn’t feel like a booty call anymore.

Not very long after Soonyoung had left, he reappears with a wet washcloth in hand, wiping the offending material from his stomach. He motions for Jihoon to expose his stomach to him, so he can wipe it off of him as well. Jihoon complies, and Soonyoung very gently cleans him up.

There’s a lump in Jihoon’s throat because he desperately wants to ask Soonyoung about the box, but he isn’t sure how to.

“Hey, Soonyoung?” Jihoon utters meekly after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, Ji?” the other asks softly, not looking up as he still wipes off Jihoon’s stomach. 

Jihoon swallows the lump in his throat. He has to ask. It’s going to drive him nuts if he doesn’t

“Please don’t hate me,” he starts, holding up his hands in defense, “but I was looking around your living room earlier, and I found your ‘trash’ box.”

Immediately, Soonyoung’s head perks up, and he’s staring Jihoon in the eye.

“Oh,” he replies with a dumbstruck look on his face. After a moment he sighs heavily, tossing the washcloth aside. “So, I’m guessing you saw the photo?”

Jihoon nods, reaching down to pick his boxers up off the floor. He wasn’t too terribly comfortable having this conversation with Soonyoung naked.

“That’s my ex-girlfriend,” Soonyoung explains, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “We had a really bad break up. I’ve been meaning to throw that stuff out, but I keep forgetting.”

Jihoon nods in understanding as he slides his boxers back on. He doesn’t plan on asking any further questions because Soonyoung would tell him if and when he was ready. 

“She’s kind of the reason I blew up at you,” Soonyoung continues, putting his hand over Jihoon’s. The other intertwines their fingers and listens intently. 

“We met in college and dated for about 3 years. I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her,” he pauses, tears beginning to form in his eyes. He exhales shakily and resumes. “Then, one day, I come home from work. I was so excited to tell her about what I had taught the kids in my dance classes that day, but then I find her in bed with one of our closest friends. Apparently, it had been going on for months.”

Jihoon’s heart drops. All of a sudden, the pieces were falling into place. So, Soonyoung was projecting when they had that argument.

“And, I know your situation is different, Ji,” Soonyoung says, rubbing his thumb in a soothing motion against Jihoon’s hand. “But that shit hurts. After it happened, I felt like I was in a badly remade Shakespearean play I couldn’t escape from. As cliche as it sounds, it was seriously like a knife to the heart.”

Then, Soonyoung grips Jihoon’s hand tightly, staring at him with a gentle yet somehow firm look. “That’s why you  _ need _ to tell Seungcheol,” he instructs, voice shaking. “Even if your relationship is toxic to the both of you, this kind of shit still hurts.”

“I promise I’ll tell him,” Jihoon chokes out, wiping the tears from the corner of Soonyoung’s eyes.

“I’m not going to be your side-piece, Ji,” Soonyoung makes clear. “If you like me and you want me, you have to break things off with Seungcheol.”

“It’s not that easy though,” Jihoon points out.

“I know it’s not, but do you really want your first meaningful relationship in a long time to be an affair?” Soonyoung asks, pushing Jihoon’s hair back with his free hand. 

Even in this kind of conversation, he still seems starstruck by Jihoon’s presence.

“No,” Jihoon mumbles weakly like an ashamed child, looking pointedly down at his legs so he wouldn’t have to look at Soonyoung. 

“Then, please tell him,” Soonyoung begs, pulling Jihoon up from the couch and down a hall.

“Where are we going?”

“To bed,” Soonyoung claims simply. “It’s too late and too wet outside for you to go anywhere.

When Jihoon crawls into bed with Soonyoung and allows Soonyoung to wrap his arms around him. It’s a kind of intimacy he couldn’t even imagine a week ago. So, he just buries his face into Soonyoung’s chest and lets their legs tangle together.

He isn’t going anywhere tonight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kassy, if you're reading this, thanks for sliding into my dm's and screaming at me!! you are seriously so cool!


	5. Are We Dating? Are We Fucking? Are We Something In Between That?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending scene of this was for a friend, because she wanted me to write Soonyoung holding a wine glass the stupid way he usually fucking does.
> 
> I believe there are going to be about 3(?) more chapters of this fic? One of them is definitely going to be an epilogue. 
> 
> Thank you to Lauren! Every time you guys leave a comment or kudos, I consider releasing her from the dungeon.

Waking up in someone else’s embrace is extremely weird for Jihoon. He and Seungcheol  _ never _ cuddle anymore. Rather, they always sleep on opposite sides of the bed, refusing to acknowledge one another. Occasionally, Seungcheol will be so annoyed with Jihoon he’ll go sleep on the couch.

So, when Jihoon wakes up with his head buried in the chest of another man, it is a lot like waking up in Wonderland. Except, there are no manic cats or smoking caterpillars—just peaceful, innocent-looking Soonyoung.

Soonyoung grumbles and squirms slightly in his sleep, pulling Jihoon closer to him. The warmth of his body against Jihoon goes straight to Jihoon’s heart.

He almost never wants to wake up, but he has to meet with his parents and their attorney at 11 a.m. Therefore, he gently shakes the shoulder of Soonyoung who groans groggily in response.

“I have to go meet my parents. Wake up,” he deadpans. It’s less sweet than it should be, but Jihoon needs a quick shower and some food.

“Mmmmm…don’t wanna,” Soonyoung pouts, rubbing his hands in soothing motions along Jihoon’s waist as if he was trying to calm the other back to sleep. 

Refusing is ultimately pointless, Soonyoung knew because he has a class to teach at noon, but he never wants to let go of Jihoon. Somewhere deep in his heart, he fears the boy he likes so much might flutter away—back to his boyfriend. Though Jihoon wasn’t happy, he seems to be a creature of habit. Staying with Seungcheol would be easier for Jihoon than leaving him. 

Finally, Jihoon gives Soonyoung a rough kick to the shin, so the other knows he isn’t playing around. 

“Why are you so violent in the morning?” Soonyoung complains, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes tiredly. When he glances over to Jihoon, he looks as if he’s on the verge of going back to bed. 

“Hey!” Soonyoung scolds, pulling Jihoon by his arms away from the bed. “You can’t kick me then go back to sleep! You wanted to wake up in the first place!”

Jihoon glares at Soonyoung, but there’s no real meaning behind it. Instead, Soonyoung thinks it’s adorable, like an angry kitten. Telling Jihoon that would probably result in getting pushed off the bed. So, he does. 

And, Jihoon does. 

As soon as Soonyoung’s ass hits the floor with a loud thud, he sticks his tongue out at Jihoon like a child. “You’re so mean,” Soonyoung sulks exaggeratedly. “And I was going to make you breakfast this morning.”

Jihoon’s head instantly perks up at the prospect of food. Before Soonyoung could protest any further, half of Jihoon’s body is leaning off the bed as he leans down to peck the other on the cheek. Jihoon mumbles a quick apology and helps Soonyoung off the floor. 

“Will you still make me breakfast?” Jihoon asks hopefully, heading to the bathroom and stripping off his boxers to shower. Soonyoung tries not to be so obvious with his staring. 

“Just because it’s you,” Soonyoung whines, trying to smother the way his heart is beating so quickly. 

The other offers him a gentle, appreciative smile then disappears into the bathroom.

Soonyoung had not been so head over heels in such a long time. 

 

*******

 

When Jihoon emerges from the bathroom, smelling like Soonyoung’s soap and body wash, Soonyoung is standing at the stove in the kitchen and cooking eggs. Jihoon, in Soonyoung’s bathrobe, approaches him from behind and snakes both arms around his waist.

“Smells good,” Jihoon comments, burying his face into the crook of Soonyoung’s neck. Soonyoung put on a t-shirt and sweatpants at some point while Jihoon was in the shower.

“So do you,” Soonyoung hums, stirring the eggs around in the pan. He taps his foot along to some song playing on the radio. “I hope you found everything alright in there.”

Jihoon hums in affirmation and nods his head, so his cheek rubs against the material of Soonyoung’s t-shirt. “Your shampoo smells so much better than mine,” Jihoon mentions, separating from Soonyoung as the other raises the pan from the stove to signal breakfast was ready.

Soonyoung huffs a laugh in response, splitting the eggs between two plates on the kitchen table. Jihoon sits down in front of Soonyoung at said table. “You’re just saying that because it smells like me,” he teases, throwing a playful glance towards Jihoon. “You should just admit that you’re obsessed with me.”

“Maybe, I am,” Jihoon replies, looking Soonyoung directly in the eye. He swallows thickly as he studies Jihoon’s sincere face. In the middle of it all, Jihoon finds himself unable to keep from staring at Soonyoung’s lips. 

So, Jihoon makes the first move. Suddenly, he shoots up from his seat and places his hands on Soonyoung’s jaw, pulling the other in for a messy kiss. Immediately, Soonyoung drops the pan in his hand on to the table and grabs Jihoon by the waist 

The kiss is fervent and sloppy yet passionate. It’s almost the kind of kiss you would give someone before they moved across the world or went off to war. Soonyoung hates to think about what it might mean. 

When Jihoon breaks the kiss, he’s staring at the other in wonder. The type of domesticity going on this morning made Jihoon feel as if they had been dating for months. They weren’t even officially dating, nor was Jihoon sure they ever would be, but it was such a sweet feeling. He didn’t want to go back to Seungcheol, who he was lucky if he got a high-five or a simple cup of coffee from. 

He felt so many things for Soonyoung, but he had no clue how to put them into words. So, instead, he sits down and begins eating his eggs as if he hadn’t just made out with Soonyoung in the middle of his kitchen. 

Soonyoung, still reeling from the kiss, hesitantly sits down and begins to do the same. Neither of them speaks for the rest of the meal, but both were alright with it. 

Once Jihoon left Seungcheol, they would have the rest of their lives to speak to each other.

 

********

 

The next morning, Jihoon comes to the shop to visit Soonyoung, rather than help with the workload. Without shame, he leans across the counter to an amused Soonyoung. 

“What time do you get off?” the other asks, fiddling with some candy on display. 

Soonyoung dutifully responses with “3,” causing Jihoon to hum in acknowledgment. 

“We should do something, tonight,” Jihoon mentions casually as if he wasn’t buzzing at the prospect of spending more time with Soonyoung.

“Yeah?” Soonyoung responds with eagerness. “Like a date?” 

Jihoon shrugs nonchalantly but has a difficult time hiding his shy grin. It would be his first real date with some other than Seungcheol in 5 years. The idea was enthralling yet terrifying, and Jihoon feels like a 14-year-old trying to ask their crush to a school dance. 

“Sounds fun!” Soonyoung chirps back, writing something down on the store’s clipboard—probably inventory for the next truck order. Then, he looks very thoughtful for a moment. “Except,” he starts. “I don’t get paid until Friday, so can we just do something at my apartment? I think we would have more fun there anyway.”

Jihoon takes that as a sexual innuendo and almost chokes on his own spit. “I thought we weren't doing… _ that _ ,” he hisses lowly, glaring at Soonyoung for embarrassing him (even though there were no customers in the store). 

At Jihoon’s flustered state, Soonyoung grows incredibly smug and amused. He drops his clipboard back on to the counter then leans in closer to the other. “We aren’t,” he whispers in a flirty tone. “But, I find it very interesting you assume that’s what I meant by  _ fun _ .”

“Shut up,” Jihoon growls with no real malice behind it. “So, what are we going to do then?”

“You’ll see,” Soonyoung shrugs, continuing his work with the clipboard. “Just come by my apartment at 6 tonight, and I guarantee it’ll be a good time.”

After Jihoon agrees and leaves the shop, he has a hard time controlling his rapidly beating heart. He lets out a deep exhale, feeling relieved Soonyoung agreed to  _ go on a date with him. _ Every day with the other was nothing short of shocking for Jihoon, who expects rejection at every corner.

 

*******

 

Admittedly, Jihoon spends  _ way _ too long fretting over his outfit, when, in reality, Soonyoung would probably be satisfied if he showed up in a chicken suit. However, he needs the other to remember how hot he is. Soonyoung’s admiration alone repairs his long-damaged pride which came from years of being ignored by Seungcheol. 

He settles on a t-shirt of some American band he borrowed from Soonyoung after spending the night a couple of days ago. It’s slightly bigger than the size he normally wears, but he isn’t drowning in it (if anybody was wondering). Furthermore, he’s wearing the tight jeans he was wearing the night he first met Soonyoung. All in all, Jihoon looks very fuckable for someone who’s mostly liked not getting fucked tonight.

Around the agreed time, Jihoon approaches Soonyoung’s front door and softly knocks. When the other answers, he  _ definitely _ looks Jihoon over and grows red at the sight of him in his t-shirt. Instead of commenting, Soonyoung invites him inside and tries to ignore the voice in his head telling him to pin the other to the wall.

“Soooo,” Jihoon draws out, fully aware of the effect he’s having on Soonyoung as he stares at the other with half-lidded eyes. “What are we doing to tonight?”

With that, Soonyoung is brought out of his lustful haze and instantly perks up. Not responding, he runs into the kitchen and comes back in a second with what looks like a bottle of wine in one hand, and two glasses in the other. 

“We’re drinking eight-dollar wine and watching Sailor Moon!” he chirps, setting down the wine glasses to pour the alcohol into. It definitely isn’t what Jihoon was expecting, so he bursts into laughter.

“This is a really creative date idea,” he manages, wiping a tear from laughter away from his eye as Soonyoung pours him a glass. “It’s the kind of stupid shit I would do in college.”

“Exactly!” Soonyoung exclaims, handing Jihoon a glass. “This was my favorite thing to do in college! I felt like it might’ve been a lot of fun with you.”

He can’t argue with that logic, so without complaint, he takes a glass from Soonyoung’s waiting hand and sits down on the couch. Frantically, Soonyoung goes from his bookshelf, gathering DVDs, to the TV and puts the disc in. Jihoon notices Soonyoung has all five seasons of the original Sailor Moon series, and he thinks it is one of the many things about the other that makes him so cute. It blows Jihoon’s mind how someone like Soonyoung could exist—someone so sexy and interesting, yet cute and sensitive. Suddenly, Jihoon realizes how glad he is to have been so lucky to meet Soonyoung. 

Finally, Soonyoung sets everything up and comes rushing back to the couch where Jihoon is waiting. With a glass of eight-dollar wine in hand, he cuddles up to Jihoon on the couch, and surprisingly, Jihoon lets him.

The Sailor Moon title song comes on, and they both start softly singing at the same time. Jihoon didn’t even like Seungcheol  _ this much _ when they first started dating. 

 

********

 

About a quarter into the first season, both Soonyoung and Jihoon have drunk about 4 glasses of cheap wine. Just as Usagi is about to transform, Jihoon glances over at Soonyoung who is holding his wine glass completely wrong. He has the stem clenched in his fist, and it’s so fucking dumb Jihoon can’t help but smile. 

“Y-you’ve got this, Usagi!” Soonyoung slurs at the screen, making large gestures with his arms. A little bit of wine sloshes over the rim of the glass and lands on Soonyoung’s jeans. He’s so drunk he just ignores it. To the right of him, Jihoon is snickering like a madman, finding the other’s antics to be the funniest thing in the world. 

“You’re holding that glass wrong,” Jihoon hiccups between laughs, about to fall off the couch himself. Confused, Soonyoung stares at his hand as if it was trying to teach him calculus. Jihoon can see in Soonyoung’s eyes that he can’t understand what’s wrong about it, only causing Jihoon to laugh even harder. It’s the most fun he’s had in a long time, but he thinks that just may be the effect of being around Soonyoung. The other was ever anything but boring. 

“You’re so dumb and adorable. I wish you’ve been my boyfriend for the past five years,” Jihoon confesses, setting his wine glass down on Soonyoung’s coffee table to prevent an accident. He creeps closer to the other on the couch, prompting Soonyoung to put his arm around him. So, Soonyoung does. 

“Me too,” Soonyoung admits solemnly, staring Jihoon in the eye. “I don’t think I’d ever be able to give up someone like you. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out, right, Ji?”

The change in atmosphere has Jihoon’s head reeling because everything was so serious nowadays. Getting drunk like college students with Soonyoung was a nice reversion into being carefree, but it couldn’t last for long. The question of “what will happen?” still looms over their heads. In this situation, there was no definite answer. And, there was absolutely no guarantee of a fairytale ending.

“Right,” he repeats dutifully, offering a reassuring smile to the other. When Soonyoung returns his smile in the form of a drunken goofy grin, Jihoon’s heart skips a beat. Then, it flutters in his chest like a bird trying to take flight. 

If there was anybody he ever had more feelings for than Kwon Soonyoung, he couldn’t recall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of y'all were commenting this was the calm before the storm, and y'all were ABSOLUTELY FUCKING RIGHT! shit's gonna go down next chapter I can tell you that much. I hope you enjoyed SoonHoon getting drunk and watching Sailor Moon because this bitch 'bout to get serious real quick.


	6. I'm a Jerk, But Your Dude is a Real Dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooh boy.. I really have no words for what's about to go down. I hope y'all are ready. Thank you to everyone who hmu on twitter! i feel appreciated :")
> 
> "What He Don't Know" by Anarbor is literally so fucking appropriate for this fic and I wish I could've discovered it earlier. Please give it a listen. Also, Lauren said "Slip Away" by Perfume Genius is their song in her mind. So, there are your song recs for the day.
> 
> Anyway, kudos and comments give me the motivation to update faster, so be sure to leave them for me and for Lauren, who was editing this instead of sleeping.

As the bass throbs as heavily as the dull ache in his temples, Seungkwan belatedly realizes a fourth shot of liquor was just too much. He’s  _ got _ to stop letting his coworkers at the radio station drag him to these kinds of parties. In fact, he feels this might be a college party, and he hasn’t been in college for 4 years. This whole party was probably the interns’ idea. 

But, when Vernon, his co-host, invited him out for “drinks after work,” he could not refuse. Though, he immediately regrets it when he realizes those drinks are being served by trashed, horny undergraduate students. 

Retiring to the abandoned couch in the living room, Seungkwan vows to remain attached to that spot for the rest of the night. He’s not as young as he used to be. 

Just when he thinks he might pass out, Vernon approaches with two red cups in hand, and Seungkwan grimaces, hoping he will have the pleasure of seeing his colleague chug two beers at the same time. Those dreams are instantly crushed, as Vernon hands him one of the cups. He sniffs it because it sure isn’t beer. As a matter of fact, he has no idea what it is, but the scent vaguely reminds him of rat poison. 

Before he can protest, Vernon plops down on the couch next to him and sips at his drink. When Seungkwan sees his friend isn’t bleeding from his eyes, he decides the drink is safe for human consumption. 

“Dude, I don’t understand how these college students fucking do it,” Vernon comments casually, glancing around the room at the wasted and half-naked bodies. 

“Remember when we were exactly like them?” Seungkwan mutters, catching a strong whiff of his drink and gagging a little bit. “Remember when Seungcheol-hyung would drag us to these parties as underclassmen?”

A nostalgic grin spreads across the other’s face. “Oh yeah!” he exclaims, laughing a little bit. “Remember when he would bring Jihoon-hyung too?! Oh man! He used to hate these kinds of parties, but after a couple beers, he would be belting songs on the karaoke machine.”

At the memory, Seungkwan smiles, but it immediately distorts into a tense scowl at the thought of Jihoon’s secret. When it inevitably got out, he would have to choose sides between his two close friends. Nothing among their friend group would be the same again. How was he supposed to choose between his hyungs, who both mean the world to him?

Tears start to form in Seungkwan’s eyes, but when Vernon mentions it, he attributes it to the alcohol. 

Suddenly, there’s a buzzing noise from Vernon’s pocket. He reaches in and pulls out his phone. 

“Speak of the devil,” Vernon says with his eyes skimming over the screen. “It’s Seungcheol-hyung.”

“What’d he say?” Seungkwan asks worriedly. There’s no way he  _ knows _ .

“Oh, the usual,” the other shrugs, putting his phone back in his pocket. “‘I’m lonely. I miss Jihoon.’ Those kinds of things. When the hell is Jihoon coming back? Because Seungcheol-hyung is seriously starting to depress me.”

In retrospect, Seungkwan knows his response is one he wouldn’t have given if he was sober. “I don’t know if he’s ever coming back,” Seungkwan confesses, wanting to vomit—partially due to the fact that the blood of his friends’ relationship was going to be on his hands, partially due to the shots. “He seems pretty happy in Busan.”

“What do you mean?” Vernon cocks his head in confusion, his face twisted into a sharp glower. If only Seungkwan could keep his big mouth shut….

But, he can’t. 

“He met someone in Busan,” Seungkwan exposes, feeling like the worst friend in the world. Jihoon was going to hate him forever. Perhaps, Seungcheol would too because he’s held onto this secret for a couple days. Drunken tears start slipping down his face as he slurs, “He’s been cheating on Seungcheol-hyung!”

“What?!” Vernon burst, clearly very angry on his hyung’s behalf. He’s already off the couch and gathering his belongings.“I have to go tell Seungcheol-hyung. I can’t believe Jihoon would do this to him, especially after how long they’ve been together.”

Without hesitation, Seungkwan grabs his friend’s wrist, before the other can retreat away. 

“You can’t tell him,” Seungkwan asserts in a panicked voice. He should be so ashamed of himself because he threw a match onto a haystack covered in gasoline. “I promised Jihoon-hyung I wouldn’t tell anyone. He’s going to tell Seungcheol himself, I swear!”

“How long have you known?” Vernon hisses, directing his glare at Seungkwan. It makes a new set of hot tears well up. Now, Vernon was going to hate him forever too. “I thought you were Seungcheol-hyung’s friend.”

“I am!” he exclaims, attracting a bit of attention from the occupants of the living room. His voice immediately lowers, so only the two of them can hear. “But, Jihoon-hyung is my friend too! It’s his responsibility to tell Seungcheol-hyung, not yours.”

It’s silent for a moment, and Seungkwan thinks the other may be convinced. 

He is sorely wrong. 

“Whatever,” Vernon huffs in annoyance. “If you were a  _ real friend _ , you would have told Seungcheol-hyung as soon as you found out.”

Then, he yanks his wrist from Seungkwan’s grip and storms out of the front door, slamming it behind him and leaving Seungkwan with a crushing weight of guilt and regret on his chest. As soon as he’s gone, Seungkwan buries his face into the dirty couch cushion and screams. 

 

*******

 

Days ago, Jihoon abandoned his hotel after his date with Soonyoung, in exchange for a spot in the other’s bed. Despite what it may sound like, they really never went much further than making-out and cuddling. Soonyoung was dead serious when he told Jihoon he didn’t want to just be an affair. 

So, after a late Friday evening at the store, they come back to Soonyoung’s apartment to sleep. Just as Jihoon finishes getting ready for bed, his cell-phone starts ringing. Whatever the call may be, it certainly couldn’t be good considering it was 3:30 in the morning. He glances to the bathroom where Soonyoung is still showering, then checks the lockscreen. 

Oddly enough, the call is from his neighbor, Jun. Warning sirens go off in Jihoon’s head, signaling a storm was about to come and destroy his entire life.

Nervously, he answers, unable to keep his fingers from shaking.

“Yes?” he asks, not bothering with formalities. He doesn’t even know Jun  _ that _ well. The closest they’ve ever been was when Jihoon once cat-sat for him while he was visiting family in China. 

“Jihoon-ah,” his neighbor responds. Jihoon can hear loud yelling and thumping in the background. There’s a booming ‘motherfucker!’ in what Jihoon recognizes as Seungcheol’s voice. It’s shortly followed by a piercing wince from Junhui. “I don’t know what’s going on—and normally I wouldn’t get involved with these types of things—but Seungcheol’s really pissed off and throwing things out of your apartment.”

Jihoon's heart is lodged in his throat, so he can’t even speak. In fact, he can barely think a coherent thought other than expletives. It feels like one of those movies where bombs are going off around the main character, but all they can hear is a shrieking hum. The shock is so overwhelming Jihoon can’t find it in himself to even  _ cry. _

“Thanks for letting me know, Jun,” Jihoon manages to choke out after an insufferable moment of silence. As he’s lowering the phone from his ear and hanging up, Soonyoung walks into the room, immediately sensing the tenseness he has breached. 

“What’s wrong, Ji?” he asks, voice shaking with concern. Jihoon looks as if he just saw everything in his life go up in flames. 

Finally, Jihoon shakes himself out of his daze, but doesn’t even respond to Soonyoung—rather, he rushes to gather his things. As Jihoon’s shoving clothes into a suitcase, Soonyoung notices his hyperventilating and practically choking on air. Jihoon was so full of fear Soonyoung could only guess what the phone call was about. 

Soonyoung approaches him from behind and grabs his shoulders to stop him from packing any further. “Please talk to me,” he begs, feeling Jihoon slipping further and further away from him. 

“I have to go back to Seoul,” Jihoon supplies, which doesn’t do much for his confusion. Soonyoung furrows his eyebrows, feeling his heart about to beat out of his chest. 

“At 3:30 in the morning?” Soonyoung asks incredulously. There’s an upsetting disturbance in his chest which feels like a huge sob trying to escape free. “Why do you have to leave?”

Suddenly, with the most serious expression Soonyoung has ever seen on Jihoon’s face, he turns to the other and shouts “He’s throwing my things out of the apartment! I  _ have _ to go deal with this. I’ll text you, Soonyoung.”

Then, just as fast as Jihoon blew through his life, he is suddenly gone. Unable to figure out how to direct his fury and depression, Soonyoung grabs a shoe from his bedroom floor and throws it all the wall as hard as he can. Though, he might as well have been a toddler having a temper tantrum, because nobody was there to acknowledge his pain. Nobody was there to console him and tell him it would all be alright in the end. 

 

********

 

On the train ride to Seoul, Jihoon is a nervous wreck. His entire body trembles violently, and his heart might just stop if it worked any harder. He feels as if he might vomit at any moment, so it’s difficult to believe he was working the night shift and joking around with Soonyoung just a couple of hours ago.

It doesn’t help his inbox is being flooded with non-stop texts either. 

 

**Boo Seungkwan, 3:43 a.m.**

_ Jihoon-hyung, I am so so so sorry! Please forgive me!  _

 

**Jeonghan-hyung, 3:45 a.m.**

_ I can’t believe you’ve done this to Seungcheol. I really thought you were better than this. I never would’ve set you two up all those years ago if I knew you were just going to throw away FIVE YEARS TOGETHER. _

 

**Soonyoungie <3, 3:46 a.m.**

_ Please text me when you get there so I know you’re safe… You’re always welcome at my apartment. I’m here for you, Jihoon. _

 

**Vernon, 3:47 a.m.**

_ Why would you do this? _

 

**Wonu, 3:49 a.m.**

_ I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but Seungkwan’s at my apartment. He’s really drunk and crying something about ‘Jihoon-hyung hates me.’ Please tell me what the fuck is happening.  _

 

**Wonu, 4:00 a.m.**

_ Nevermind. Vernon came to get Seungkwan and explained everything to me. All I’m going to say is I don’t know the full story, so I’m not going to crucify you. I want you to know I’m still your friend, Jihoon.  _

 

**Soonyoungie <3, 4:30 a.m.**

_ I’m still really worried, but I’m going to try and get some sleep. Please come back to me when you can, Jihoonie… _

 

There were no messages from Seungcheol. Everything Seungcheol wanted to say to Jihoon, he wanted to scream loudly at the top of his lungs.

 

********

 

Junhui wasn’t lying when he said Seungcheol was throwing things out. When he arrives at his apartment building around 5 in the morning, his belongings are scattered out in the hall. It’s not much—just some clothes, books, and a guitar. 

But the fact they are out there alone causes a fire to engulf his heart. 

In rage, he stomps up to what used to be his apartment door and pounds on it. He doesn’t even know what he’s going to say to Seungcheol except that he wants to shout it at him. Mentally, he’s preparing to give the other a mouthful, but the plan is interrupted. 

Seungcheol doesn’t answer the door, rather his lackies, Jeonghan and Joshua, do. It makes Jihoon roll his eyes because now he’s got to deal with the Seungcheol Protection Squad as well. 

“What do you want?” Jeonghan bites coldly, blocking the door so Jihoon can't see Seungcheol. 

“Let me speak to Seungcheol,” he hisses, slowly losing his patience. He could be with Soonyoung in bed right now, but instead, he was here. It only serves to piss him off more. 

“Go back to Busan,” the other retorts. “Nobody wants you here.”

Jihoon’s nostrils flare as he breathes out—hot and frustrated. “I pay part of the rent for this apartment, so unless you’re my landlord with an eviction notice, I suggest you move,” Jihoon warns lowly—five seconds away from barrelling in between the two. 

Jeonghan opens his mouth to protest, but it’s promptly interrupted by a hoarse voice. “Let him in, Jeonghan.”

Seungcheol’s guard dog seems very discontent but respects his friend’s wish. When he and Josh scoot to the side, Jihoon can see Seungcheol in the living room through the doorway. His face is red from obvious crying, and his hair looks as if he tried to pull it from his own head. Furthermore, a hopeless look has settled across Seungcheol’s face, and he looks like he’s five seconds away from leaping from the apartment balcony. 

No matter how one looks at it, Jihoon was the villain in this situation. 

This was supposed to be a love story, so why does Jihoon feel a sudden lack of love? 

Well, he knows why, but knowing is easier than admitting. Denial is Jihoon’s best friend right now.

“I appreciate everything you two have done for me,” Seungcheol directs to Jeonghan and Josh, refusing to even glance in Jihoon’s direction. “But, you need to go home now.” 

“I am  _ not  _ leaving you here alone with him,” Jeonghan objects, taking up a defensive disposition. 

“This is between Jihoon and me,” Seungcheol responds gently as if he trying to talk the other out of curb-stomping poor little Jihoon. “It’s 5 in the morning, and you two need to go. You have lives to get to. We’re both adults. We’ll be fine.”

Finally, Jeonghan backs down and adheres to Seungcheol’s instruction, exiting the apartment with Joshua following closely behind—though, not without glowering bitterly at Jihoon.

To think two weeks ago, Jeonghan and Jihoon were very close friends. When he met Soonyoung, he knew he’d be losing Seungcheol, but he never stopped to think he might lose his friends as collateral damage as well. 

Before, it was like Jihoon was drowning in somebody’s backyard pool of guilt and regret, but now it’s like he’s stranded out in the middle of the ocean. Not to mention, he left his only life raft in Busan. 

Jihoon expects Seungcheol to immediately begin shouting after Jeonghan slams the door behind him, but it never comes. Instead, he just gets up from the couch, sits at the kitchen table in front of Jihoon, and idly fiddles with a bottle opener on the table. Maybe, he was waiting for those two to be far down the hall before he unleashed his rage….

This clearly wasn’t the case; Jihoon knew after 3 whole minutes of unadulterated silence. It sets every nerve in his body on edge because Seungcheol yelled at him for leaving the lights on when he left for work three weeks ago, and having an affair is  _ way  _ more serious than their electricity bill. 

“Why aren’t you yelling at me?” Jihoon tests, feeling like a guilty child. “I know you want to yell at me and call me names. So, why aren’t you?”

At this, Seungcheol finally turns his body towards Jihoon, staring at him coldly. “Is that what you want? Would that make you feel better about yourself?” he chokes, voice still rough from crying. “Fine. You’re a whore. Do you want anything else? Would you like to personally rip my heart out and burn it? Because you’ve pretty much done everything short of that.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Jihoon feigns weakly, instantly realizing it was the wrong thing to say. He definitely deserved everything which was coming to him. 

“Dramatic?” Seungcheol huffs in disbelief, staring at Jihoon as if he was the maddest person in the world. He probably was to Seungcheol. Then, he raises his voice, causing Jihoon to wince and flinch. “I think I’m reacting to the proper extent, Ji! We’ve been together for FIVE YEARS, and you just throw it all away for some random hook-up? I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend in the world, but fuck!”

“Maybe, if you didn’t turn everything into an argument and paid attention to me, then I wouldn’t have to resort to someone else,” he yells right back, trying to keep his head above water. Of course, he did wrong, but it doesn’t mean he isn’t still upset with Seungcheol for letting their relationship die. 

“Everything turns into an argument because you’re so fucking stubborn and defensive,” Seungcheol hisses, now gripping the bottle opener so tightly his knuckles begin to turn white. “Don’t fucking pretend like this is my fault!”

Somewhere deep down, Jihoon knows he’s right. Seungcheol isn’t entirely to blame for the death of their feelings for each other. Neglectfully, he refused to even try to fix their problems. Rather, he just ran off and fell in love with someone else. 

But Jihoon can’t keep himself from shouting back at the other. He’s in too deep to admit fault now. 

“I never fight with Soonyoung! I am _not_ the problem, Seungcheol! You’re just mad I found somebody else to fuck because, even though you won’t touch me, you’re still a possessive asshole,” he snaps, slapping his hands down onto the table in front of him and feeling hot tears starting to occupy the corner of his eye. 

“Was this all about sex?” Seungcheol croaks with a shaking voice, actually crying now. “Is that all you care about? Because, I would’ve fucked you if you just  _ asked me _ , you prick!”

“It’s not just about sex, Cheol,” Jihoon confesses in a whisper. The tears finally slip down his cheeks. Usually, he wouldn’t cry in front of Seungcheol, but he suddenly thinks about how much he missed Soonyoung and knows he must do this. “I’ve been trying to attribute all of this to us having a horrible relationship, but the truth is I don’t love you anymore, Cheol.”

And, there it is.

The other is very silent, lip quivering as Jihoon says the words he’s been fearing this entire time. Secretly, he had a slight hope the two of them would fight then make-up like they usually do. Yes, it bothers and hurts him Jihoon cheated on him, but he figured, in time, he would forgive and forget. When they were kids, Seungcheol thought they would be together forever, and, until now, he still did. Because, as much as Jihoon irritates and frustrates the hell out him, he loves the little bastard. 

But the little bastard doesn’t love him. 

“So, do you love him?” Seungcheol utters, feeling his heart in his throat. Coincidentally, Jihoon is feeling his heartbeat in the exact same spot.

For a moment, Jihoon is very quiet and thinks about how different he feels around Soonyoung. All of his life, he’s felt like his true feelings and personality had to be under lock and key to avoid scrutiny, but he never feels like that with Soonyoung. Though they haven’t known each other for long, Jihoon  _ knows _ he and Soonyoung could be something great one day. 

“I think I do,” Jihoon admits, a new wave of hot, fresh tears blurring his vision. His love is apparent because he wishes he were in bed with Soonyoung right now, acting like the other’s dumb antics annoy him. No matter what Soonyoung does, he never fails to make Jihoon’s heart flutter in his chest. 

Jihoon simply doesn’t feel any of this for Seungcheol. 

He’s not sure if he ever did. 

In response, Seungcheol sucks in a deep breath and screws his eyes shut, trying to keep himself from audibly sobbing. If he is going to survive through this night, he has to stay strong. He  _ cannot _ have a breakdown in front of Jihoon. Though he doesn't have his love anymore, he still has his pride and dignity. Jihoon is  _ not _ going to steal those from him too.

“I can’t believe I gave you the best years of my life,” Seungcheol manages, staring at the other with glittering eyes. “I can’t believe I thought I was going to grow old with you. I wish I never met you, Jihoon.”

Those words were like an arrow straight to Jihoon’s heart, and he holds back a sob as well. He may not love Seungcheol as a boyfriend, but he’s still been a close friend throughout the years.

“I’ll come to get my stuff on Monday, Cheol,” he claims, already walking towards the door. “I’m sorry I’ve done this.”

“Go to hell, Ji,” the other bites as Jihoon exits the door. When the door closes behind him, Jihoon finally lets out that sob, fingers shaking as he dials Soonyoung’s number. 

“I’m coming back,” Jihoon tells him as soon as he answers. “Seungcheol and I broke up.”

The fact Soonyoung doesn’t say anything other than “I’ll be here for you” satisfies Jihoon’s aching heart. A door may have just closed in his life, but a whole new one has opened for Jihoon to explore. As hard as it was to leave, Jihoon could finally start to lead a happy life again. 

And, frankly, he couldn’t see that life without Soonyoung.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably could've finished this yesterday, but I felt SO BAD while writing the scene with cheol that I had to take ridiculously long breaks from it.


	7. You Start Calling, You Start Crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fuck wow... first of all, i am grateful for every single bit of recognition and appreciation i've gotten for this fic. writing is something that is very important to me, so when you guys enjoy my fics and interact with me about them, it makes my heart very happy. i look forward to entertaining you guys more in the future :")
> 
> second of all, any hints ive been dropping on twitter are going to happen in the epilogue because i was very proud of the way this chapter had ended, so it didn't want to add on anything else.
> 
> so, without further ado, here's the last official chapter of heartbeat.

As Jihoon’s standing at the platform and still sniffling, the thought occurs to him that two train rides to and from Busan in the same day is plainly ridiculous. But he can’t stand  _ not _ being with Soonyoung. His other options are much less appealing, anyway.

He  _ could _ stay at Seungkwan’s apartment, but the other’s constant apologies and self-reproach would be too much to handle. Most likely, he would have to reassure and comfort his friend for his slip of the tongue, when he  _ needs _ someone to do the same for him. Though he doesn’t necessarily  _ hate _ Seungkwan, being around him would be rubbing salt in the wound.

A hotel room was another alternative, but he would rather die than be left alone with his thoughts. He’s not strong enough for the kind of self-hate which would flood over him. The silent pressure of a lonely hotel room would surely crush his heart.

So, in the end, he shelled out the money for yet another train ticket. 

The train approaches his platform, and he feels his heart thump at the thought of being with Soonyoung again. 

As long as he had Soonyoung, the remorse which was feeding on him would subside, right?

 

*******

 

When Jihoon arrives in Busan, Soonyoung is already waiting on the train platform for him. Before the other even notices Jihoon, he observes how he looks so anxious as he worries his lip and fidgets his hands in his lap. After he notices Jihoon and turns to him, Jihoon, also, notices he has the complexion of someone who is exhausted. 

It is starting to feel like Jihoon ruins everything he touches. Why is he such a fuck-up?

He approaches Soonyoung but does not say anything. There is nothing to say. Jihoon feels like actual human shit. 

So, when gestures Jihoon for a hug, the other doesn’t hesitate to take it, even though he wouldn’t do it under normal circumstances. These weren’t normal circumstances. 

These were “everybody hates me, and I actually kind of want to drown” circumstances.

With his entire body shaking, he buries his face into the crook of Soonyoung’s neck and lets out a heavy sob like an upset child. Overwhelmingly, all his emotions come flooding out and attack him at once. 

But Soonyoung still doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just holds the other as he lets out all of the stress he has been holding onto for weeks—perhaps months, considering how long he subconsciously  _ knew _ he didn’t want to be with Seungcheol anymore. 

“I–I’m,” Jihoon hiccups in between gasps. He can’t even manage complete sentences. Right now, he feels like the most pathetic person in the world. Finally, he somehow croaks out, “I’m such a  _ bad _ person. I want to die.”

In response, Soonyoung tsks and gently strokes Jihoon’s hair, pulling him in for a tighter hug. Seeing Jihoon like this truly breaks his heart. 

“You’re not a bad person, Ji,” Soonyoung reasons comfortingly. But by the way, Jihoon is still gripping his jacket with trembling fingers, Soonyoung can tell the other is still not convinced. “You’re just human. You’re flawed like everybody else is. What you did was a wrong choice, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to die. You said it yourself… You’re not some lowlife just because you made a mistake.”

The sentiment helps calm Jihoon’s crying but does nothing for the pain he feels threatening to shake every bone in his body. His conscience was feasting on his poor little heart, causing it to dully ache. If he’s ever felt more miserable about himself, he can’t remember when. 

“Let’s go home, Hoonie,” Soonyoung murmurs, wrapping his arm around Jihoon’s shoulder as he guides the other away from the platform. 

It’s funny because this entire situation stemmed from Jihoon wanting to go home with Soonyoung. They’ve made a full cycle, and Jihoon has gotten exactly what he wanted. So, why does it still hurt so much?

 

********

 

“Don’t you teach a class this afternoon?” Jihoon asks when they get back to Soonyoung’s apartment. The other went into the kitchen to start the electric kettle. 

“I asked a coworker to cover for me,” he responds casually, coming back into the living room where Jihoon is curled up with a throw pillow clutched in his arms. “I wasn’t going to blow you off when you need me.”

For what must’ve been the hundredth time that day, Jihoon feels more tears coming up, but this time they were tears of appreciation rather than misery and stress.

“If you start crying again, I might have to start crying with you,” Soonyoung teases in a shaky voice. Jihoon can tell he really means it. He doesn’t deserve this kind of affection and understanding. 

“Why do you even like me?” Jihoon mumbles, burying his face into the throw pillow. The other is staring at him very intently. He starts thinking about the things Seungcheol shouted at him. “I’m defensive and stubborn. _ Everything  _ is my fault. I placed all of this blame on Seungcheol this entire time, but I couldn’t even admit my own feelings to myself. I couldn’t accept  _ I’m _ the reason our relationship died out. I’ve dragged  _ everybody _ into this mess, and it’s always been my fault.”

A beat.

“Maybe, there’s a little truth to that,” Soonyoung begins, taking Jihoon’s hand into his. “But, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy. Yes, you’re defensive as fuck, and yes, you seem to have a tendency for pushing people away, but those are just your weaknesses. Nobody expects you to be a perfect person.”

“If I have a tendency for pushing people away, aren’t you worried I’m just going to do the same to you?” Jihoon tests, fearing the answer. He didn’t want to watch what he felt for Soonyoung die, just like it did with Seungcheol. The fact it is even a possibility makes Jihoon feel as if there is something seriously  _ wrong _ with him. 

“Sometimes, I do,” Soonyoung hums truthfully, summoning tears of his own to match Jihoon’s. “But, frankly, I won’t let you push me away. And even if you manage to, I would still be really glad to have known you. There’s a lot more to you than you give yourself credit for.”

Compulsively, Jihoon glances at Soonyoung’s lips. Would it be inappropriate to fall straight into Soonyoung’s arms right after he ended a relationship?

Part of him believes it might be, but he doesn’t really care. Rather, he just leans closer to Soonyoung who’s returning his glances and gazing at him in awe. Both of their hearts flutter wildly. 

Just before Jihoon can close the distance between them, the timer for the kettle goes off, startling both of them. 

“I should go get that,” Soonyoung utters, running into the kitchen. The bell did not save Jihoon. In fact, Jihoon silently swears revenge on every bell that ever existed. 

After a moment, Soonyoung comes back with two cups of tea. In appreciation, Jihoon accepts his and sips it, realizing belatedly it was too hot. He scrunches his nose in displeasure and sticks his tongue out, causing Soonyoung to giggle next to him.

  
“What are you laughing at?” Jihoon snaps, throwing a fake glare in Soonyoung’s direction. 

“You, because you are so fucking cute,” he huffs, sending a little finger heart in response to Jihoon’s glare. It makes Jihoon roll his eyes, but his heart suddenly aches a lot less. Sheepishly, he smiles to himself, but it doesn’t escape Soonyoung’s notice.

Two beats.

“What are we, Ji?” Soonyoung asks with uncertainty. Before they couldn’t be anything more than two people who have sex, but now, so many windows of opportunity were open.

“I’m not sure,” the other admits, chancing a glance at Soonyoung. “But I do know I would like to begin again—actually go on a few dates like normal people…before we slap any labels on whatever this is.”

“I’d like that too, Ji,” Soonyoung smiles warmly, not at all disappointed with the other’s answer. 

Before Jihoon can enjoy the moment too much, he remembers his job in Seoul. 

“You know I have to go back on Monday, right?” Jihoon tests the waters, hating to think all this trauma would go to waste because Soonyoung couldn’t handle the long distance. 

“We’ll make it work,” Soonyoung asserts determinedly. Somehow, he thinks Soonyoung was worrying about the exact same thing. “I’ll come to Seoul to see you on my days off. We’ll Skype. I’ll call you every night.”

When it becomes clear to Jihoon that Soonyoung is dead-set on being with him, it almost feels like the last 12 hours haven’t even happened. Somewhere distantly in his heart, he feels Soonyoung was the person he was meant to be with. All of these unfortunate occurrences that have happened to and because of them were some grand cosmic butterfly effect to finally bring them together.

Upsetting emotions flooded out of Jihoon’s body and down the drain. Perhaps, life is chaotic and disastrous to restore everything to the way it’s meant to be. 

Instead of responding to Soonyoung’s insistence they’ll stay together, Jihoon leans in for a sudden kiss. The other is shocked for a minute but promptly returns it when he realizes what was happening. 

When they separate, Soonyoung mentions something about a nap because neither of them has slept all night. So, Jihoon lets the other intertwine their fingers and lead him to the bedroom. 

And, just like that, everything is right with the universe again. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're satisfied with the ending, please leave kudos and comments! my next fic is going to be a harry potter au, so keep an eye out for that.


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's ya conflict resolution!!
> 
> It was so fun to write this and read your reactions. I hope you are ready to step off the ride....

**6 months later**

 

When Jihoon comes home from work, Wonu is reading a book on the living room couch. For the past few months, Jihoon has been staying in his friend’s spare bedroom and paying his share of the rent. He didn’t particularly want to look for his own apartment because he wasn’t planning on staying Seoul for long—just long enough to find a new position in Busan. 

“Seungkwan and I are going to the bar tonight,” his roommate mentions casually as if he doesn’t know Jihoon has plans tonight. “You should come with us.”

“You know I can’t,” the other deadpans in return, standing on his toes to reach the crackers on the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. “Soonyoung is coming into town tonight.”

“Well…” Wonu hums in a cheerful voice. “You could bring him.”

Automatically, Wonu is met with a big fat “no.” He expected nothing less. 

“Oh come on, Ji!” Wonu complains loudly, breaking Jihoon’s resolution. “We’ve never met him, and it would be fun! Besides, all you two are going to do is order takeout and watch Naruto.”

Jihoon pouts, even though Wonu can’t see it from the living room. His roommate is completely right. They were probably just going to get drunk and watch anime, but it sounded much better than letting his friends meet Soonyoung. Deep down, he’s afraid they might mention Seungcheol or their college days and make Soonyoung uncomfortable. 

The fear had no basis though because after his break-up with Seungcheol cooled down, nobody seemed to mind who Jihoon dated. Seemingly, all of their friend group have forgiven Jihoon, except Seungcheol and, strangely enough, Jeonghan. 

In fact, Mingyu once saw Jihoon and Soonyoung at an ice cream parlor together and went up to talk to them. He told Jihoon he seems very different these days then winked at Soonyoung. It was an interaction that might’ve won him a trip to the E.R. if there weren’t so many people around. 

“Fine,” Jihoon’s resolve breaks with little effort from Wonu who cheers a little in celebration. “But! Do not mention anything about or relating to Seungcheol! It’ll make the night awkward and weird.”

Wonu agrees, and Jihoon is slightly excited. A few months ago, he could never imagine bringing Soonyoung to meet his friends. All he wanted was for his relationship from Soonyoung to transition from “dirty little secret” to “my boyfriend, Soonyoung.” And, finally, it seems it has.

 

*******

 

The two patiently wait together for the incoming train from Busan, neither speaking. 

Jihoon can feel every nerve in his body thrumming with excitement. Wonu has been one of his closest friends since college. When he and Seungcheol would fight, Jihoon would always go to Wonu’s apartment, and the other would help him pick up the pieces. 

As the train pulls into the station, Wonu finally speaks. “I’m really excited to meet your boyfriend, Jihoon-ah,” he confesses, a sincere look in his eyes. It makes Jihoon offer him a shy smile in return “I haven’t seen you this happy since our college days. I know ending it with Seungcheol was hard, but it was for the best. You both get chances at actual happiness now.”

“Thanks, Wonu,” Jihoon mumbles, feeling his eyes water slightly. 

As people spill from the train, Jihoon’s eyes search around for his boyfriend, who emerges from the last of the passengers. His face immediately breaks out into a huge smile when his spots Jihoon, but it falters slightly when he sees Wonu. Cautiously, unsure of who this tall stranger is, he approaches the two. 

When he’s close enough, Soonyoung throws caution to the wind and rushes up to scoop Jihoon into a tight hug. It makes the other’s heart flutter wildly, then he shakes out of his surprise and hugs his boyfriend back. He doesn’t miss how Wonu is smiling fondly as he stares at both of them.

“I missed you, Jihoonie,” he mumbles into the crook of the other’s shoulder—probably because he doesn’t want Wonu to hear. He still doesn’t know who the guy is! 

“I came to Busan last weekend,” Jihoon teases playfully and rolls his eyes, but he missed the other just as much. 

“That’s a whole week without telling you how cute you are!” Soonyoung exclaims, causing Jihoon to blush yet smack him on the shoulder. 

From the right of them, Wonu clears his throat, startling Soonyoung away from Jihoon. It’s silent for a moment, and Jihoon has reason to believe Soonyoung might have been glaring at his roommate. 

“Soonyoung. This is my roommate, Wonu,” he introduces, and Soonyoung’s disposition instantly changes to friendly again as he greets the other. “Wonu. This is my boyfriend, Soonyoung.”

“It’s nice to meet you. We should get to the bar before happy hour ends,” Wonu mentions, pointing his thumbs behind him in the direction of the exit. 

“Bar?” Soonyoung asks with a dumbstruck look on his face. Until five seconds ago, he thought their plans were to get drunk and watch anime. 

“Wonu and Seungkwan want to get to know you,” Jihoon comments, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand and leading him towards the exit. “Plus, you haven’t met any of my friends before.”

“No, I haven’t,” Soonyoung muses with a stupid grin on his face. They were  _ actually  _ a couple and doing couple type things. It was something he only used to dream of. 

 

*********

 

The bar is tucked into the corner of some street in Seoul. It’s almost impossible to find if one doesn’t know what they’re looking for. 

But years ago, Seungcheol, Wonu, and Jihoon just happened to be looking for a quiet place to drink. So, this was the place their friend group converged to discuss their miseries and day-to-day activities. 

Jihoon hasn’t been here since he and Seungcheol broke up. He was too afraid of running into the other, despite Wonu’s pleadings he hasn’t seen Seungcheol there in months.

Inside, Seungkwan is waiting at a booth and wearing a grimace of anxiety on his face. Though Jihoon forgave him, it seems everything could all come tumbling down again if he said the wrong thing in front of Soonyoung. It would be simply too hard to forfeit his dear hyung’s friendship again.

When he spots the trio, the grimace instantly melts away into a beam of enthusiasm. Whatever his concerns were, he refuses to show them in front of his hyungs. 

“Your boyfriend exists!” Seungkwan teases as they approach, scooting further into the booth so Wonu could sit. Jihoon directs a glare at him, while Soonyoung just looks flustered yet confused. “I was worried you were making him up… or he was actually your body pillow or something.” 

Jihoon scowls and flips him off as he sits in the booth, but everybody knows he doesn’t actually mean it. Soonyoung’s face goes from bewildered to amused, and Jihoon could immediately tell he was going to be fond of Seungkwan.

“I know what kind of folders you have on your computer, Boo Seungkwan. Don’t mess with me,” Jihoon spits, instantly quieting the other’s laughter. Though, Seungkwan has to fight back a grin.

Before he can supply a smartass comment, the waitress comes and asks them what they would like to drink. After she leaves, the concerned-friend interrogation starts. 

“What do you do, Soonyoung?” Seungkwan asks, studying the other closely. Even after all the difficulties in his and Jihoon’s friendship, he still needs to make sure all potential suitors are up to standard. Though they taunt each other most of the time, he still believes Jihoon deserves the best. 

“I teach at a dance studio and work part-time for Jihoon’s parents,” Soonyoung answers, then his eyes grow wide as if he’s just remembered something. He directs his attention to Jihoon. “Which reminds me… I need to tell you something privately later.”

A small bit of anxiety grows in his gut. What if something was wrong with one of his parents or both? Surely, they would tell them himself. Though they know he and Soonyoung started dating, they wouldn’t send their son’s boyfriend to be the bearer of bad news.

“Do his parents know?” Wonu asked next, glancing in concern from Jihoon to Soonyoung. The waitress comes back with their drinks. 

“They know,” Soonyoung utters, thanking the waitress as she leaves. “We waited a couple months to tell them after…the event.”

“But, it was awkward as hell to tell them I wasn’t dating Seungcheol anymore,” Jihoon sighs, sipping his drink to forget the whole thing even happened. Underneath the table, Soonyoung takes his hands and rubs soothing circles with the pad of his thumb. At the action, Jihoon grins slightly at the other who returns it. 

“I bet,” Seungkwan winces, about to ask another question when his attention instantly alerts to the door. By the way he instantly froze, Jihoon realizes it has to be someone he knows. So, he twists his body slightly and peers over the back of the booth. It hits him hard why Seungkwan froze.

Standing there in the doorway is Seungcheol, but he isn’t alone. In fact, he’s holding hands…with Jeonghan. 

The two notice their table as well, also freezing. For a second, they whisper to themselves as if they were thinking about leaving.

No… They  _ definitely  _ were. 

But, neither of them does. Instead, they approach their table coolly, as if nothing was wrong—as if Jihoon and Seungcheol wouldn’t kill each other at any moment. 

They stop in front of the booth, still holding hands. Neither are smiling, but they seem content. Though, Jihoon doesn’t miss the glint of discomfort in Seungcheol’s eyes when his gaze lands on him. Then, he glances at Jihoon and Soonyoung’s hands intertwined on the seat of the booth. 

Before either of them can say anything, Wonu squints in the direction of Seuncheol and Jeonghan’s hands and asks cautiously, “How long has this been a thing?” 

“A few months,” Seungcheol shrugs, refusing to look at Jihoon. Jihoon  _ hates _ the fact Seungcheol doesn’t want to acknowledge his existence. He doesn’t want to hate Seungcheol, and he doesn’t want Seungcheol to hate him. Even though their relationship sucked, he still considers Seungcheol a long-time friend. 

“Would you two like to sit down?” Jihoon blurts, surprising the entire table. Assuming exactly who these two men were, Soonyoung looks slightly nervous as if he was stuck in the bunker of a warzone. However, Jihoon had no intention of fighting. He was an adult, and it was about time he started acting like it.

Seungcheol gives his affirmation, silently agreeing with Jihoon to call a truce. He hasn’t been acting very mature either. 

So, Seungcheol and Jeonghan pull up chairs, causing the waitress to come and take their order and then leave. 

“You want to tell us more about this?” Jihoon tests the waters, gesturing towards the two’s still intertwined hands. Jihoon’s still holding on to Soonyoung’s.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan grimace a bit, then the formed sighs. There was no point in being immature.

“After you and I broke up, Jeonghan confessed to me he never wanted to set us up in the first place. I just wouldn’t stop begging him to, even though you kept implying you really didn’t want to. I guess one thing lead to another and here we are,” Seungcheol claims, no longer looking angry in any way.

None of this should have been very surprising for Jihoon. Actually, Jeonghan was always more affectionate and caring for Seungcheol than he was. If Jihoon’s memory serves right, Jeonghan would always be happy when Jihoon turned Seungcheol down, then irritated towards him when Seungcheol was upset because of him. 

The two are smiling reassuringly at each other, and Jihoon knows without a doubt this was  _ absolutely  _ the way things were meant to be. Their misfortunes brought them together as well, just like his brought him to Soonyoung. 

It was a fucked-up and jagged road to get here, but they made it. Maybe, he and Seungcheol would never be close again, but they were both happy. 

So, Jihoon just listens as Seungkwan and Wonu chat with the other pair as friends again. When he catches Soonyoung’s eye and the other smiles goofily at him, his heartbeat thrums in his chest. 

Everything was going to be alright. 

His friend group was going to survive.

And he still got to be with Soonyoung. 

There was nothing more he could want.

 

******

 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan leave first, both claiming they have to be up early in the morning. Just as Seungkwan is about to leave, Wonu tugs on his sleeve jacket. 

“Can I sleep on your couch tonight?” he asks, glancing at the couple across from him. “I want to let them have the apartment to themselves tonight.” 

At the implication, Soonyoung snorts slightly into his drink, causing rum and coke to splash all over the table and in his face. 

“Oh yeah. That’s  _ reeeal  _ sexy, Soonyoung,” Jihoon chides, helping his boyfriend clean up with a napkin.

Holding back a laugh till he was red in the face, Seungkwan concedes with Wonu’s wish. “We should probably go now, Wonu. So, they can clean up more later,” he snickers, winking in Jihoon’s direction, and the other suddenly has the urge to push his friend down a flight of stairs.

“Gross,” Wonu groans, scrunching his nose yet collecting his jacket. “You’re gonna make me regret being nice.” 

“I’ll make Seungkwan regret it even more,” Jihoon hisses at them as they finally exit the bar, leaving Soonyoung and Jihoon.

“So, your friends seem cool,” Soonyoung says finally, placing exact cash plus a tip on the table for his and Jihoon’s drinks. He grabs the other’s hand and leads him away from the booth.

“Seungkwan can be a bit much sometimes, but I love him for some reason anyway,” Jihoon shrugs, exiting the bar with Soonyoung. They walk together down the street which is pretty dead compared to earlier. Jihoon believes it may be around midnight. The bar is tucked into a more residential area, so the street is not as busy.

As they walk to the bus stop, snow begins to fall. Jihoon stops and gazes up at the flakes coming from the heavens. It feels like watching stars fall from the sky.

Meanwhile, Soonyoung watches the glowing snowflakes falling onto Jihoon’s face and into his hair. It reminds him of the night they were caught in the rain. 

“I’m really glad you’re here with me,” Soonyoung confesses, still staring at Jihoon in wonder. The other turns to him and grins sheepishly, causing Soonyoung’s heartbeat to go wild.

“There’s nobody I’d want to be with more,” Jihoon sighs softly, then turns his stare back at the sky. “I think I love you, Soonyoung.” 

“I love you too, Jihoon,” Soonyoung hums, smiling dumbly. 

They reach the bus stop and patiently wait in silence for a moment until Jihoon remembers. 

“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asks, praying for good news rather than heartache.

Soonyoung perks his head up and beams at the other excitedly. Jihoon knows there isn’t anything to worry about and breathes a sigh of relief. 

“I got offered a job at a choreography studio in Seoul!” Soonyoung announces, gripping Jihoon’s hand tightly in his. “I’ve been looking for a position for  _ months _ , but I finally found one!” 

“Were you perhaps looking because of me?” Jihoon asks, unable to control his fluttering heart. This entire time, he had been looking for a position in Busan. He hasn’t found anything, but he planned to surprise Soonyoung when he found out. 

He supposes Soonyoung beat him to it. 

“Partly,” Soonyoung admits, still beaming. Jihoon is so happy for his boyfriend’s success because he truly deserves it. “Partly because I needed to move on from Busan. This was a huge opportunity I couldn’t turn it down.”

“I’m proud of you,” Jihoon hums, pulling his boyfriend in for a hug. It’s not something he would do under normal circumstances, but these weren’t normal circumstances.

These were “my boyfriend just found a job near me and now we’ll be able to actually live together” circumstances. 

“Thank you, Hoonie,” the other sighs into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. The hot breath tickles slightly, causing Jihoon to squirm and quietly giggle. He pulls away and stares Jihoon in the eye. “So, will you move in with me? I understand if you want to keep living with Wonu.”

“No offense to Wonu, but fuck him,” Jihoon huffs, grinning at Soonyoung. “I want to live with you. You are  _ much _ cuter than Wonu. Also, can I have sex with Wonu? I think not! You are the only person I want.” 

Just then, the bus pulls up, interrupting anything Soonyoung was about to say in response. 

“Let’s go  _ celebrate _ ,” Jihoon insinuates, winking as he guides his dumbstruck boyfriend by the hand towards the bus. 

“Oh, hell yeah,” Soonyoung mutters, growing red in the face. 

“Two words, Soonyoung: thigh highs,” the other purrs. 

Then, loudly for the whole bus to hear, Soonyoung accidentally exclaims “oh fuck yeah!” out loud.

When everyone stops glaring at them and they’re left in their own little world, Jihoon can’t help but feel grateful—grateful to Soonyoung for loving him, grateful to his friends for sticking by him, grateful to Seungcheol for somewhat forgiving him, grateful to the universe for giving him a gift as amazing as Soonyoung.

Happiness was secured in his grasp, and he would never let go of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about doing a bonus smut chapter for this fic, because i cant stop thinking about jihoon in thigh highs... i guess it just depends on the kind of response the idea gets lol
> 
> thank for stick with me through this fic! please be on the look out for my hogwarts au!!


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